Who gets final call on wedding date?
Q: The bride and groom can’t agree on a wedding date. Who gets the final call?
A: The only instance when it’s OK to make the final call is when your partner says, “I’m good with whatever date you decide!”
More grooms are getting involved with the wedding planning than ever before; this is every bit as much his wedding as it is the bride’s. Coming to an agreement on a date is where all the wedding planning begins.
However, if the bride and groom cannot agree on a date, then it boils down to why. Many factors can complicate setting a date, like the bride’s family paying for the event and the family’s opinions being considered. Ultimately though, the final decision should be the couple’s.
Since the wedding will involve both sets of families and friends, the wedding date should be decided by both the bride and the groom. Honor a time that works for both of you. It’s not about who gets the final call — the couple need to be able to make important decisions together before journeying into marriage.
How sweet is it to start the wedding planning process in agreement? This will set the tone of what’s ahead in a sea of decisions in both wedding planning and marriage.
— Mary Chatman, editor-inchief of Black Bride Magazine
A: Planning a wedding involves logistical and emotional decisions. But in the end, emotion is a stronger force and has a longer memory.
Down the road, a couple will care less about what actual day the wedding was on; they will, though, care about the conflict over choosing the date and how that squabble affected not only their planning process, but also their relationship.
Couples should focus more on what type of memory they are creating for their relationship down the line. Someone getting the final call can create resentment, and that doesn’t set the couple up for a healthy relationship.
The pair each should throw out their expectations and find a solution that makes both happy.
— Jen Elmquist, licensed marriage and family therapist