One-sided attraction alters friendship

Dear Amy: I’ve been friends with “Sandra” for about a year now. Recently, she revealed to me that she is gay. I am totally supportive of her. However, she also told me that she has grown very attracted to me. I’m a straight woman and not attracted to her. I told her this.

Over the last couple weeks, she has been acting increasingly inappropriate. She seems to go out of her way to touch me in ways she didn’t before. She has taken to kissing me (on the cheek), which she never used to do. She invited me over for dinner, and when I arrived, she walked out almost completely unclothed. She apologized and said she “forgot” I was coming over.

I raised my concerns to her, and she asked if I found her repulsive because she was gay. I told her of course not!

If a man were acting this way, I would accuse him of sexual harassment and tell him not to contact me. I don’t want Sandra to think I’m discriminating against her. Her behavior — not her orientation — is the issue for me.

How do I frame this? I’d like to remain friends, but without the pressure. — Just Friends Dear Just Friends: “Sandra” boldly expressed her sexual interest in you, and you responded by frankly revealing your own choice not to reciprocate. She then upped the ante.

She may be using your own fear of seeming homophobic to test or try to coerce you. At the very least, her behavior is manipulative. At the most, she is sexually harassing you. You should tell her that this is a friendship deal breaker.

Dear Amy: Responding to people who think there is no harm done by vaping in the restaurant, there are people (like myself ) with long issues or asthma, and that “harmless” vaping can trigger a potentially deadly reaction.

When done outside, it is easier to avoid.

— Lung Problems

Dear Problems: Great point. In most places, smoking or vaping inside is simply not permitted, for many good reasons.

Copyright 2019 by Amy Dickinson Distributed by Tribune Content Agency