Why won’t anyone date me?
Dr. Wallace: I’m a 16-yearold girl and I’m at least as attractive, if not more attractive, than my three best friends. However, they all regularly go on dates and I have only been on a date twice in the past year.
I’m not sure why this is, and I’ve racked my mind many times searching for an answer to this mystery.
What can I do to attract more dating opportunities?
— On the Sidelines, via email
On the sidelines: First of all, it’s great that you have three close girlfriends who are actively dating. Have open conversations with each of them individually and let them know you’d like to become more active in the dating scene yourself. Ask their opinions and advice, and even request a few “blind date” introductions here and there to help you get back into a regular social rotation.
Another thing to do is become approachable during your daily life. Make it a habit to smile at others, even strangers, at your school and say hello regularly to anyone whenever the opportunity arises. The more you socialize, the wider your networking opportunities will be. Attend school functions and outings like sporting events, dances and clubs that interest you. The more visible you are, the sooner your social calendar will fill up.
Why have rules if they are not applied fairly?
Dr. Wallace: I’m the only boy in our family. My mom married a new husband, and he has two daughters that are younger than I am. They are nice to me and that’s not an issue. But what is an issue is how my stepfather always scolds and punishes me, but he lets his daughters get away with things I’m regularly punished for.
One example is not doing your homework before dinner. If I don’t complete my homework before dinner, I can’t go out with my friends right after dinner, but he often lets his daughters slide on the same rule because they tell him they’ll only be gone for an hour, and they’ll come right home and finish their homework between 9 and 10 p.m.
There are other examples I can give you, but I want to keep this letter short and just make my overall points. What can I do about this? He’s not very friendly to me and I don’t feel comfortable confronting him about this.
— His Frustrated Stepson, via email
His frustrated stepson: Take that very example and explain it calmly to your mother whenever you have a chance to be one-on-one with her out of earshot of your sisters and your stepfather. Explain that you respect his authority, and you want to be a team player, but you find it extremely unfair that he does not apply family household rules uniformly.
In my opinion, it is indeed your mother’s responsibility to be certain that the discipline within your family is applied in a fair way for all children.
This is one of the biggest complaints I regularly get from stepchildren, and too often both parents are not in harmony when it comes to family rules and discipline. Ask your mother to step up on your behalf in this instance.
And for the record, if a teen found a stepmother not applying rules evenly, then I’d recommend that teen to ask the father to step up and resolve the issue. It matters not who is showing favoritism; to promote and maintain a healthy family dynamic, all rules should be fairly applied to all children and stepchildren.
Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Email him at rwallace@thegreatestgift. com. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.