Teen wants to live with aunt for senior year in high school

Dr. Wallace: I’m finishing up my junior year of high school, and I’m an only child. My parents are both very busy professionals who have crazy work schedules.

I often fend for myself when it comes to dinner and I pack my own lunch for school since both my mom and dad are out of the house before the sun comes up each workday.

I happen to be an excellent student and I take my studies and my future career very seriously. I have my college plans already set up.

However, I just found out from my aunt on my mom’s side that there is a new college prep program at the local high schools in her area. I checked it out, and there are two great classes that not only fit my major perfectly, but that would even give me partial college credits to get me started.

I am particularly close with this aunt, and she volunteered to let me live with her for my senior year in high school if I wanted to transfer there. My mom is fine with this idea since I’d be living with her older sister, but my father thinks I should stay home because “You’ll be flying out of the nest to college soon enough anyhow.” The problem with his logic is that I don’t see my parents much at all during the average Monday through Friday now.

What’s your opinion here? My aunt lives in the next state over from us and the distance is about 150 miles, or about a threehour drive.

— Interested To Try This, via email Interested To Try This:

I feel it’s worth a shot. You’re a serious student and this could jump start your college career and maximize your academic growth during your senior year in high school.

And since you’d be living with family, especially a very close aunt, I feel that the setup is conducive. And if you do, and for any reason you wish to return to your prior high school, you should be able to do this without much red tape at all. Schools tend to be very flexible these days for students to return to campus after a move out of town and a boomerang return.

I do have a suggestion that may help you with your father’s concerns. Plan to spend some quality time with both parents this summer, and even go on a short local vacation with them if possible.

Even a few weekend trips would be great. This way, they won’t feel shortchanged, and you can all talk things over before your senior year rolls around.

You should also plan to return to your parents’ home at least one or two weekends a month during your next school year.

You can see them, update them on how you’re doing and not be completely out of sight. I trust there are reasonable buses or trains that can shuttle you back and forth as needed if you don’t already have your own transportation. 150 miles is close enough to make this happen comfortably.

Dr. Wallace: I have a really nice and attractive girlfriend and I enjoy spending time with her and being seen with her. My only problem is that at times, she puts down my intellect in subtle ways.

She’s a fantastic student and will be great at her career when the time comes. I’m a good athlete and I do well in two sports at our school, but I’m not nearly the student she is. I also am still trying to figure out what career I’d like to pursue.

Put our two backgrounds together, and you can start to get a picture of why she sometimes wants to make the larger decisions and handle issues herself that I feel we should be discussing together.

Other than this one issue, we get along great. I do truly care for her and can envision a possible long-term future with her. Am I overreacting to this one irritating thing

— She’s Bright and Lets Me Know It, via email

She’s Bright and Lets Me

Know It: Small issues can grow into larger issues if ignored long enough and their frequent repetition becomes overly grating and difficult to bear.

I suggest that you bring the issue up tactfully. Simply emphasize that communication and team decisions are important to you. Be sure to point out how much you value her input and ideas, and you simply wish to be part of the decision-making process going forward. Communication is the hallmark of a healthy relationship, so do speak up for yourself. Holding back could subject you to future feelings of resentment, and I trust you don’t want to experience that when it likely can be avoided by addressing things proactively.