Soccer mom deplores abusive sideline ‘coaching’

DEAR AMY: I am a proud soccer mom of two children. My husband coaches their teams. I love watching my children play and my husband coach.

The problem is my inlaws, who are spectator grandparents. They come to every game that the children are in. I feel forced to sit with them.

My father-in-law screams at the players — things like, “That kid is horrible, catch the ball,” all while that child’s parents are sitting next to us. (Oh, and these are 7-year-olds.)

They leave immediately after the games and do not spend any time with the kids except when he lectures my children about how they can improve. My mother-in-law talks to me the entire game.

If I try to pay attention to the game and turn away from her, she pouts.

My husband has spoken to his father regarding yelling but the situation hasn’t improved. I have tried excuses about sitting elsewhere but they adjust their seating or get visibly distraught.

I dread these events now. Please help. — Stressed Soccer Mom

DEAR STRESSED: Don’t make excuses to cover up your desire to escape your in-laws’ behavior. Tell them, “I want to concentrate on the game today, so I’m going to sit over here,” and then do it.

Youth sports leagues usually have rules about abusive sideline “coaching” and yelling. Anyone screaming, “That kid is horrible,” regarding a 7-year-old should be ejected.

If your husband can’t bring himself to eject his father from the game, another coach or league official should do it.

DEAR AMY: “Sad Foster” was upset about losing custody of her foster children, who she and her husband were hoping to adopt. She was hurt when people asked about the kids.

I think you made a good point, Amy. These children touched many lives and I think it’s natural — and nice — for people to ask about them. — Barbara

DEAR BARBARA: None of us really ever knows what someone else is going through. This was heartbreaking. Amy Dickinson

by David L. Hoyt and Jeff Knurek