Woman upsets household by finally moving out

I am a 32-year-old woman living at home with my parents, grandmother and college-age brother.

Last year, I had to give up my room when my grandmother moved in with us.

This year, my brother moved back home to attend a local college, so I had to give up that room, too.

Due to a lack of personal space, no bedroom, no privacy and being tired all the time (literally and figuratively) from sleeping on the basement couch every night, I decided to start looking for another place.

I found a place that was affordable and very close to my parents’ home, so earlier this month I informed my parents that I will be moving out next month.

My mother, whom I have always known to be rational and understanding, did not take the news well. She is very upset and angry.

She has not talked to me for a week.

My father is supportive and understanding. I cannot understand her reaction because I have been talking about moving out since my brother moved back home. I think my mom is angry because I didn’t ask her permission. — Hurting my mom’s feelings

Given the situation you describe, not to mention your age, your choice to move out is healthy, rational and something your mother is simply going to have to learn to endure.

If you have handled this in a way that you now regret, you should acknowledge your own failing, apologize and ask for forgiveness: “I feel I haven’t handled this very well, and I’m sorry, Mom. I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Parents do want to be included in big life decisions, and this transition might be a little easier on you if you had run it past your mother. You do not have to ask her permission, but you might have asked for her opinion.

Your mother’s nose is out of joint; she may be feeling some loss and anxiety about your departure. But she will have to adjust, and you should trust that she will adjust. Hold your head high. You’re starting a new phase of your life, and you should be proud.

Contact Amy Dickinson via email at askamy@ tribpub.com.

Amy Dickinson