What ever happened to visiting someone?

DEAR AMY » My husband and I are in our 50s. He recently had knee replacement surgery.

I am very surprised that my close circle of friends has not been more supportive. A couple of them haven’t even gotten in touch.

Two friends texted the day after the surgery and asked how things went, but in the week since, we have heard nothing from them. Even some family members are the same way — sending a message on Facebook? Come on.

Can’t anyone pick up the phone and actually call and have a conversation? Can’t anyone come over and visit my husband, who is laid up on the couch?

I realize it’s not open-heart surgery, but texting “Let me know if you need anything” is an easy way out. I’m not going to call you and ask you to bring over dinner.

Am I expecting too much? Is this just the way things are now?

— Wondering DEAR WONDERING » Sometimes, texting (or FB message) is the preferred way of communicating because it does not obligate the recipient to answer and speak. And yes, texting can also be a lazy way of fulfilling a “checkin.”

But when someone asks, “Let me know if you need anything,” your answer should be: “Thank you! Barney would love a visit. Can you swing by after work?”

This does not absolve people from their thoughtlessness, but you and your husband can also create a Facebook post encouraging people to help (if you’re inclined). If you provide specific tasks and ask, people will step up.

DEAR AMY » “Confused” was a man who was in a domestic situation with his girlfriend and her mentally ill sister, which you compared to a Tennessee Williams play. Thank you for suggesting a home renovation for this group. Some of their problems could probably be solved with some drywall.

— Done That!

DEAR DONE THAT » Some separation was definitely in order.