Woman lets men down gently, but would appreciate a response

DEAR AMY » I am a 24-yearold woman. Since leaving my previous relationship, I’ve been getting back out there and going on dates.

When I realize that I do not wish to pursue a relationship with someone after going on (one to five) dates with them, I usually send a text that says something along the lines of, “Hi, Mike. I enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t think we have enough of a romantic connection to pursue anything further. I wish you the best.”

I loathe the idea of “ghosting” someone I’ve met in person, but I also don’t think letting them down in person or on the phone is necessary when we don’t know each other very well.

The two men I’ve recently sent this message to never responded. Is it rude for me to send that text, and/or is it rude for them not to respond? I can’t help but be a little hurt when I agonize over sending a text that I know will hurt someone’s feelings, only to get no acknowledgement that they even received it.

I know it doesn’t really matter because I’ll never see these men again, but I want to do the right thing.

— Not Interested

DEAR NOT INTERESTED » I agree with you that sending an honest text message is a good idea in this context. It is not like you are breaking up — you are giving these people a heads-up on where you stand.

What you shouldn’t do is expect anything in particular in return, other than perhaps an acknowledgment that they received your message. These men are being rejected, they get it and they are moving on.