Sister insister: Visitors to vaccinate

DEAR DR. ROACH

» I am one of four daughters, ages 69 to 61. Our dad is 95 and still lives independently, although one of us girls has dinner with him each night. We do all of his shopping and errands. He is frail and has Parkinson’s disease. Our dad and three of the girls have been fully vaccinated, and those old enough have appointments for the booster.

The youngest refuses to get vaccinated. She has never received a flu shot, and a COVID vaccine is “out of the question.” She also told us that her seeing and being with Dad is nonnegotiable.

When COVID started, on her nights with Dad, she’d wear a mask around him. Once he and the rest of us got vaccinated, she quit wearing the mask and sits close to Dad. She says she can’t breathe with a mask. I tell her it’s easier to breathe with a mask than a ventilator. Dad won’t say anything because he wants to avoid confrontation. Now that the delta variant is rampant, we have decided to give her an ultimatum. Get vaccinated or forfeit your time with Dad. We understand that even though Dad is vaccinated, he would most likely at his age not survive a breakthrough case. We have taken a chance for far too long. We don’t want to expose him to her (or ANYONE unvaccinated) anymore. We are not doing this to attack her or her principles. We are doing this to protect our elderly dad. Please help us decide what would be best for our dad’s health. Your thoughts, please?

— J.L.D.

DEAR READER » My personal opinion is that you and your vaccinated sisters are correct and the risk to your father right now is too great. I would not allow her to visit without being vaccinated. Any person with her travel history (and possible exposure) should also either wear a mask or be tested for COVID-19 IN ADDITION TO vaccination before visiting your dad.

I am afraid there are many people who believe what your youngest sister believes. Although it isn’t always comfortable breathing through a mask, nurses, physicians, and other health care professionals have been doing so every day for almost two years.

I can’t say whether your dad would survive a case of COVID-19. I have had patients in their 90s do so. However, his risk would be very high, especially considering his frailty. I realize this will cause stress in your family, but in my opinion, the risk to his health is too great.