Live-in boyfriend needs his Netflix cut

DEAR AMY >> I’ve been dating my boyfriend for two years. Last year we moved into an apartment together. We decided to split the costs 50/50, because that’s only fair, right?

Recently, he lost his job, and no longer pays for his share of the bills.

This is not the first time this has happened. He leaves me to pay for everything (rent, internet, his phone bill, and food). I make relatively good money, but not nearly enough to carry the both of us.

He hasn’t been looking for a job, and every day I come home from work, and he hasn’t done any cleaning or laundry or cooking to help out, he simply sits and plays video games or watches Netflix.

He knows that this frustrates and bothers me. He claims he loves me, but everything he does proves otherwise. I just need help around the house, and I’ve told him this kindly and calmly many times how this makes me feel. He’ll make a change for a day and then it’s back to nothing again.

I feel like I’m his mother. I’m cleaning, cooking, tidying up after him, and paying for everything. I’m not even sure he sees me as his girlfriend anymore, considering I can’t remember the last time he actually kissed me.

I’m miserable. I want to be together, but this is just too much for me. I don’t think it’s fair that I do all the work inside and outside the home while he lounges around. — Miserable DEAR MISERABLE >> In the short term, you should consider changing the account settings on the wireless and Netflix account, so your boyfriend wouldn’t have access to nonstop entertainment (on your dime) while he is loafing around the house during the day.

If you cannot afford (or don’t want to pay for) your boyfriend’s layabout lifestyle, then a good use of this two-week break would be for you to scour the classifieds or Craigslist for roommates who could share the cost of rent with you.

You don’t present any positive aspect of living with your boyfriend. If he has a pattern of patchy employment and you aren’t able to inspire (or coerce) him into being more helpful during those times when he is out of work, then you should ask him to find other housing.