The News Herald (Willoughby, OH)
Here’s most vile sports movie villains
Heroes are only as good as their villainous counterparts. Batman needs the Joker. Luke Skywalker needs Darth Vader. The Avengers need Thanos. The list goes on and on.
It’s the same with sports movies. The better the villain, the more memorable.
With millions stuck inside because of the novel coronavirus pandemic, sports fans are grasping at anything to get their fix — re-watching classic games from the past or binging their favorite sports films.
Just don’t forget about those wonderful sports movies villains fans love to hate. Here’s one’s man vile five, in alphabetical order. Ranking them is unfair. They are all ridiculously evil:
Ivan Drago
WHY WE LOVE TO HATE » Drago’s silence is deadly in “Rocky IV” — literally. The Russian (played by Dolph Lundgren) shows no pity in killing the Master of Disaster Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) in the ring. Drago was cold and without a soul.
MOST VILLAINOUS SCENE » Remember, the Drago-Creed bout was “supposed to be an exhibition!” (according to Creed’s trainer), but Drago’s camp had other ideas. It only got worse when Drago’s evil wife (played by Brigitte Nielsen) smiles in delight as Creed is knocked out and falls to the canvas, goes into convulsions and succumbs to the beatdown. Which leads to the …
MOST VILE LINE » “If he dies, he dies.”
John Kreese
WHY WE LOVE TO HATE » Cobra Kai’s sensei is a Vietnam War veteran hell-bent on ruling all of Southern California in the mid-1980s with his teenage martial art minions doing his dirty work.
OK, we’re really not sure what actor Martin Kove’s character is up to in the 1984 classic “The Karate Kid,” but his win-at-allcost, no-mercy approach has Daniel LaRusso (Ralph Macchio) scared for his life and big bad Johnny Lawrence (William Zabka) willing to deliver the deadly shots.
He’s mean.
MOST VILLAINOUS SCENE » It’s bad enough Kreese orders semi-good Cobra Kai minion Bobby to put Daniel “out of commission” with an illegal strike to his knee. He loses all sense of humanity during the championship bout between Daniel (who has miraculously returned after a mystical Mr. Miyagi ceremony … yeah, just go with it) by telling Johnny to “sweep the leg” to try and win the All Valley Under-18 Karate Championship. Pure evil.
MOST VILE LINE » “Sweep the leg.”
Clubber Lang
WHY WE LOVE TO HATE » Arguably the greatest smack talker in the history of sports movies, Clubber is played by Mr. T in 1982’s “Rocky III” and he flings insult after insult at Rocky, Adrian, Apollo and Mickey. Clubber says he lives alone, trains alone and will win the title alone.
Seriously, who would want to live or work with this guy? A loner with a big mouth, Lang backs it up by demolishing Balboa to win the heavyweight belt. That’s difficult to watch for Rocky fans, but pales in comparison to this …
MOST VILLAINOUS SCENE » Lang — with hoards of fans at an unveiling of a Rocky statue — tells The Italian Stallion he’s not a real man (sports movie blasphemy), then makes a rude, sexual remark toward Adrian. It causes Rocky to snap and run at Clubber as cops hold him back. It’s the lowest of lows from Clubber.
MOST VILE LINE » There are so many to choose. There’s “Dead meat,” “Prediction? Pain,” and “I pity the fool.” The winner: “I’m gonna torture him. I’m gonna crucify him. Real bad.” As opposed to those “real good” crucifixions?
Shooter McGavin
WHY WE LOVE TO HATE » Arrogant and cocky, Shooter (played by Christopher McDonald in 1996’s “Happy Gilmore”) does all he can to kick Happy off the pro golf tour in this farcical comedy. His overthe-top “double-pistol, collar-popping” ways scream
“I’m better than you” and we can’t wait for Happy to take him down at the tour championship.
MOST VILLAINOUS SCENE » Happy (Adam Sandler) joins the tour in an attempt to save his grandmother’s house from the IRS. After earning enough to buy back the house at an auction, Shooter is also there, outbids everyone and flaunts it in front of an outraged Happy.
MOST VILE LINE » “You lay another finger on me, I burn the house down and (expletive) on the ashes.”
Rachel Phelps
WHY WE LOVE TO HATE » Imagine in this era of social media, a Las Vegas showgirl becoming owner of the Indians and then deliberately sabotaging their season in the hopes of moving the team to Miami. Rachel Phelps (played by the late Margaret Whitton) is so vile, so villainous in 1989’s “Major League.” MOST VILLAINOUS SCENE » Phelps pays a visit to the Indians locker room amid manager Lou Brown and players complaining about the team’s lack of amenities.
Insults fly, including this Phelps classic … MOST VILE LINE » “Your players have to get a little tougher. What are they a bunch of pansies?”
Agree or disagree with these choices? What sports movie villains make your list?
Podolski can be reached at MPodolski@News-Herald. com; @mpodo on Twitter.