A not-too-fond farewell to the escapees

Will the last one out get the lights.

Is Connecticut on the brink of one of those moments?

If you commute on I-95, the answer is a resounding no. The speed limit remains bumper to bumper and the left lane is still the domain of the “Mad Max” crowd.

If, however, you go by letters to the editor and/or apocalyptic data provided by companies in the relocation business, then you are left with the sense that everyone has either moved out or is accumulating cardboard boxes.

Another thing fueling the impression that a mass exodus is underway is the anger. Many of the dearly departing seem unfamiliar with the maxim: Don’t go away mad, just go away.

In this regard they are incapable of exiting without first penning a letter to the local newspaper explaining their decision.

Usually, these missives include an accounting of how expensive it is to live in Connecticut, and how much cheaper and better it will be to live in their new home state. Oh, and, so long suckers.

Why those who are relocating feel it necessary to flyaway on the wings of a bitter parting shot is beyond me. Is it possible they think we care?

I believe I can speak on behalf of all of the 3.5 million they are leaving in the rearview mirror when I say — not a lick.

You want to go, go. Good luck to you. And don’t let the door hit you in the assets.

While there is certainly no mass exodus from Connecticut, anecdotal evidence does indicate the state, and the Northeast overall, is losing some population.

A recent report by United Van Lines ranks Connecticut as having the fourth highest percentage of residents pulling up stakes.

According to their scorecard, four people move out of Connecticut for every three who move in. Only New York, New Jersey and Illinois had worse win-loss statistics, with Illinois claiming the No. 1 spot.

And get this, United says Vermont led the country in percentage of inbounds as opposed to outbounds. Vermont, really? Obviously, United’s unscientific sampling needs to be treated with a grain of road salt.

It makes you wonder if the incoming settlers have ever been to Vermont during December, or January, or February, or mud season?

As noted earlier, the major reason cited for exiting Connecticut is the high cost of living.

They are, of course, right on this score. It does cost a lot to live here. You can buy a home the size of a Newport mansion elsewhere in the country for what it costs to own a two-bedroom fixer-upper in some parts of Connecticut.

Taxes, and lots of them, are another legitimate issue. That noted, this complaint tends to ring hollow when deployed by billionaires threatening to bolt. (See above: Don’t let the door hit you in the assets.)

How overtaxed are we in Connecticut? Let’s pause for a musical interlude. Feel free to sing along:

Makes you wonder if the Beatles ever lived here.

As for life imitating art, bringing back tolls is up for consideration in the state legislature this term. Granted, I’m probably missing something here, but isn’t that kind of like: “If you drive a car …”

The bottom line is there are certainly legitimate reasons for deciding to move out of Connecticut. I mean, the UConn women just lost a regular season game.

But there are just as many valid reasons to stay, quality of life being foremost.

And while I dislike being soaked as much as the next guy, to me it’s a small price to pay for not having to learn to spell Biloxi.