Samuelson reveals mental health struggles in essay
The postgame tears told a story of intense grief and heartache.
But all the while, Katie Lou Samuelson kept denying her feelings, telling herself that she was being too dramatic.
In a personal essay published Wednesday on ESPN.com, the former UConn women’s basketball star opened up about her struggles with anxiety and depression.
“I always used to make excuses about why I felt a certain way,” said Samuelson, who graduated last year. “I’m hard on myself and became accustomed to a lot of negative self-talk. I used to tear myself down in ways that I didn’t realize I was doing. I was in denial about how I felt. Something in the back of my head convinced me that … nothing was actually wrong.
“I wanted to be seen as reliable, tough and resilient.”
Samuelson was the top-ranked recruit coming out of Mater Dei High School (Calif.) in 2015. She won an NCAA title as a freshman, then earned All-American recognition in each of her final three seasons. She left Storrs as the fifth-leading scorer in program history (2,342 points) and was selected fourth overall by the Chicago Sky in the 2019 WNBA Draft.
But during her time at UConn, Samuelson also dealt with a series of serious injuries — a broken foot in 2016, sidelining her for the national championship game, and multiple torn ankle ligaments during the 2017-18 season — that only sank her deeper into distress. She sometimes cried in the locker room after games, but wouldn’t tell her family and friends, fearing that they would feel burdened or think she was making excuses.
“At times I felt very isolated in the sense that I didn’t have anything else I really felt inspired to do — or connected to — off the court,” she wrote. “It’s especially hard as an athlete and you’re still figuring the rest out.
“Everything is connected in one way or another. Looking back now, I wasn’t taking care of myself as well as I should have. I wasn’t eating right. I had times where I was sleeping for 13-15 hours a day. I’d get up to go to practice and class, then come back to my room, and that’s
about it.”
Samuelson told herself she’d start feeling better once she began her career in the WNBA. But she didn’t, and last year she sought help from a mental health professional.
“And I felt this weight lifted from me,” she explained.
The 22-year-old is now with the Dallas Wings, acquired in February after one season in Chicago. Her older sister, Karlie, is on the team too. Samuelson said they’ve been training together in California, preparing for a season that may or may not ever start because of the coronavirus pandemic.
Moving forward, Samuelson, intends to use her connection with PUMA to bring more awareness to the Trevor Project, a crisis intervention and suicide prevention organization for LGBTQ youth.
“There is no hiding from mental health issues based on what you have, or how successful you are, or what people see of you on the outside,” Samuelson said. “Anyone can be affected, so learn what you can and ask for help when you need it. Everyone’s journeys are different, but more than ever we see how we’re all interconnected. So let’s be kind to ourselves and look out for each other.”