Birth mother re­fuses to give up hope

The News-Times - - ADVICE/GAMES - An­nie Lane

Dear An­nie: I had my 14th birth­day two weeks be­fore I gave birth to my son. The hardest thing I have ever done was to sign the paper for him to be adopted. The en­tire time I was preg­nant, I tried to think of any way I would be able to keep and raise my son. At 14, I com­pleted my first se­mes­ter in ninth grade but had to drop out my se­cond se­mes­ter.

I cried and prayed each night for a way to keep my son, to be able to take care of him. For years, I would look into the faces of boys and then men to see if I rec­og­nized my son. I silently cel­e­brated each birth­day, and prayed he was OK and in a lov­ing home. I didn’t ac­tively try to find my son as I didn’t feel I had any right to look for him, to in­ter­rupt his life, or to have any claim to be a part of his life. I never gave up hope and never gave up pray­ing that he was happy and healthy and that he would some­how know from all the “talks” and “love” that we shared while I was car­ry­ing him that he would some­how feel that love and not feel aban­doned or un­wanted.

The best day of my life came more than 45 years later when I re­ceived a phone call, and it was my son!

Many times a birth mother re­ally has no choice or is un­able, for what­ever rea­son, to raise a child, and if a lov­ing fam­ily is un­able to have a child of their own but is able to give that baby a lov­ing home, it is a truly great thing.

I still re­gret that I was un­able to be the mother my son needed, and I am grate­ful that he had a great life with his adoptive par­ents who loved him, and that he does not hate me for my choices.

A Lov­ing and Thank­ful

Mother Dear Birth Mother: Your let­ter is ex­tremely touch­ing. You sound like a beau­ti­ful per­son and mother. May your let­ter help peo­ple who are won­der­ing if their birth moth­ers wanted them.

Dear An­nie: My grand­daugh­ter has Prader-Willi syn­drome and has an in­sa­tiable ap­petite, which can cause obe­sity and early death. She is hun­gry 24/7 and will never, ever feel full even af­ter eat­ing. Her con­di­tion only makes me more aware of our so­ci­ety and the fo­cus on food.

Ev­ery hol­i­day is cen­tered around food. We have learned to make those hol­i­days about love and ined­i­ble gifts. Easter is com­ing and she will have a bas­ket of toys and games in­stead of candy.

When vis­it­ing a school I am ap­palled with the over­abun­dance of candy and treats ev­ery­where.

I would love it if schools could take food out of class­rooms and back in the cafe­te­ria. Iit would be a bless­ing for all chil­dren to place food as an op­tion only in cer­tain places rather than in the class­room.

Em­pa­thetic Grandma Dear Em­pa­thetic Grandma: Food has long been at the cen­ter of many tra­di­tions in our so­ci­ety. Rather than try­ing to do away with that al­to­gether, we might try us­ing more health­ful foods in these ac­tiv­i­ties, such as an Easter bas­ket loaded with fruits.

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to dear­an­[email protected]­ators.com. To find out more about An­nie Lane and read fea­tures by other Cre­ators Syn­di­cate colum­nists and car­toon­ists, visit the Cre­ators Syn­di­cate web­site at www.cre­ators.com.

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