Channeling maybe-yes, maybe-no Mueller: Speak, Bob, speak!

WASHINGTON — See Bob investigate. Read Bob’s report. Wait, Bob, what?

For nearly two years, the nation watched and waited as special counsel Robert Mueller investigated President Donald Trump and his campaign for potential collusion with Russia and obstruction of justice.

The release of a redacted version of Mueller’s 448-page report last month offered a long-awaited moment of closure for many — and an utterly unsatisfying cliffhanger for plenty of others.

Three weeks of public parsing and analysis have left them wondering just what Mueller was trying to say and what he really thinks, particularly on the question of obstruction, where the document drew no conclusion. That uncertainty has given partisans on both sides an opening to frame Mueller’s findings to their liking and left many Americans, unlikely to read the full report, scratching their heads about what to believe and whom to trust.

Enough with the printed page, they say, enough with the punditry: Speak, Bob, speak!

Melissa Garcia, a 29-year-old health counselor, pauses outside a restaurant in Quakertown, Pennsylvania, to compare the two-volume Mueller report to the kind of “terms and conditions” legalese that most consumers skip right over. She’d love a “CliffsNotes version” from Mueller himself.

“I would just ask him to sum it up because he knows it the best. I’d want the shorthand version but the most important details,” says Garcia, an independent who supported Hillary Clinton in 2016.

Republican Becky McBreen, a 58-year-old Trump voter from Schuylkill Haven, Pa., who works at an aluminum company, says she’d like to ask Mueller: “Leaving out the political bias, do you, in your heart of hearts, truly think that Trump colluded with Russia to sabotage Hillary?” (The report did not find a criminal conspiracy between Russia and the Trump campaign.)