Daugh­ter’s plans cause rift in fam­ily

The News-Times - - ADVICE/GAMES - An­nie Lane

Dear An­nie: Our daugh­ter, “Jenny,” is grad­u­at­ing from col­lege in a few weeks, and my hus­band and I are very proud.

Jenny first told us about her boyfriend, “Todd,” dur­ing the Christ­mas va­ca­tion. She said she had met a fel­low stu­dent and re­ally liked him. Jenny was never boy crazy, and Todd is her first se­ri­ous boyfriend. We don’t dis­like him, but we’re not crazy about him ei­ther. He is not warm and friendly. He is quiet and can ap­pear cold when you first meet him. He can be funny some­times, but he’s mostly quiet.

The prob­lem is that we as­sumed all along that Jenny would re­turn home for a few years af­ter col­lege, get a job and start to pay back her stu­dent loans. But she told us that Todd was ac­cepted to grad­u­ate school and will be study­ing for a mas­ter’s de­gree in a school lo­cated more than 2,000 miles from our house, and she wants to go with him. She doesn’t have a job and is not sure what she will do. She’s even talk­ing about stay­ing in school her­self.

This has caused the first se­ri­ous rift in our fam­ily. My hus­band is fit to be tied. He can­not dis­cuss the sub­ject with­out ex­plod­ing about Jenny’s in­grat­i­tude and self­ish­ness. She bursts into tears when­ever we try to per­suade her not to go, say­ing she loves Todd and has made up her mind. Feel­ing Torn Apart

Dear Torn Apart: Jenny is not a lit­tle girl any more, and you and your hus­band should re­ally fo­cus on grat­i­tude and ap­pre­ci­a­tion; she ful­filled your dreams of go­ing to col­lege and suc­ceed­ing. If she and Todd are in love, then they would be mis­er­able if they had to live thou­sands of miles apart. If you al­low your hurt feel­ings to de­stroy the good re­la­tions you have had with Jenny her whole life, it could take years for your re­la­tion­ship to re­cover. Ask Jenny to help you both get closer to Todd so that the close-knit fam­ily you all knew will con­tinue with one ad­di­tional mem­ber.

Dear An­nie: I re­mem­ber hear­ing some­one on tele­vi­sion — I can’t re­mem­ber who — say that we should drink eight big glasses of wa­ter ev­ery day. I tried it the next day and found that I had to go to the bath­room a lot more than be­fore. But I also found that I felt much bet­ter. I have been do­ing this for years now, and I am con­vinced it pro­motes good health. Many peo­ple have told me that I have nice skin and look young for my age. I am in my 50s and look at least 10 years younger than I am. I love the let­ters in your col­umn, and I wanted to share this tip for the read­ers, in case any­one is in­ter­ested.

Never Thirsty

Dear Never Thirsty: Your let­ter is so sweet. There might be some dis­agree­ment among ex­perts about what the op­ti­mal amount of wa­ter is to drink each day, but be­ing de­hy­drated can cause all sorts of prob­lems such as headaches, diar­rhea and lethargy. Thanks for think­ing of the col­umn and for giv­ing a great tip!

Send your ques­tions for An­nie Lane to [email protected]­ators.com. To find out more about An­nie Lane and read fea­tures by other Cre­ators Syn­di­cate colum­nists and car­toon­ists, visit the Cre­ators Syn­di­cate web­site at www.cre­ators.com.

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