Hus­band’s vi­o­lence will only es­ca­late

The News-Times - - ADVICE/GAMES - Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069 or dearabby.com

Dear Abby: My hus­band has al­ways had anger is­sues. Re­cently, they have pro­gressed from tar­get­ing inanimate ob­jects to tar­get­ing me.

A few weeks ago, when he got up­set, he punched the nav­i­ga­tion screen in my car out. Then he pro­ceeded to grab my hair and slammed my head into the car win­dow (it didn’t break, but my head hurt for more than a week).

He apol­o­gized later, but I can’t for­give him. Maybe I never will. What’s worse, I haven’t been able to bring my­self to leave and don’t re­ally know how to. Is this be­hav­ior a deal breaker?

Stuck In Min­nesota

Dear Stuck: Yes, this is ab­so­lutely a deal breaker. Do not min­i­mize what he did to you. I’m sorry you didn’t go to the emer­gency room af­ter it hap­pened.

Each time your hus­band at­tacks will be worse — in­creas­ingly so — un­til he maims or kills you. For your safety you MUST get out of there, and the sooner the bet­ter. For direc­tions on how to safely make your exit, con­tact the Na­tional Do­mes­tic Vi­o­lence Hotline. The toll-free phone num­ber to call is 800799-7233 or visit the­hot­line. org and a coun­selor there will di­rect you.

Dear Abby: My 5-year-old daugh­ter, “Maude,” is afraid of large dogs. In the past, my hus­band has publicly scolded her when she cow­ered away from them.

A friend of our fam­ily has a dog that Maude is es­pe­cially hes­i­tant around, and my daugh­ter re­cently con­fided that she no longer wants to go over to this friend’s house be­cause of it. She made me prom­ise not to tell her fa­ther why. When I told him pri­vately about our con­ver­sa­tion, he rolled his eyes and ac­cused our daugh­ter of hav­ing a “weak” men­tal­ity. Is he be­ing un­rea­son­able or is it just me? Phrus­trated In Philly

Dear Phrus­trated: Your daugh­ter doesn’t have a “weak men­tal­ity.” She’s afraid of dogs, and pos­si­bly with good rea­son. Find an an­i­mal res­cue or­ga­ni­za­tion or shel­ter that en­cour­ages the pub­lic to spend time so­cial­iz­ing with the dogs and cats. It may help to get her past her aver­sion. It has helped other chil­dren, and it’s also good for the an­i­mals. Give it a try and let me know what hap­pens.

Dear Abby: I am a 49-yearold di­vorcee. A younger man

(31) at work is show­ing an in­ter­est in me. We have talked sev­eral times about see­ing each other out­side of work. Also he is African Amer­i­can. I would like to go out with him, but I’m not sure how my fam­ily and friends would re­act. What do you think?

Betwixt And Be­tween

Dear Betwixt: What are you con­cerned about? Is it that you would be dat­ing a younger man, one of a dif­fer­ent race or that he’s a co­worker? If it’s the lat­ter, and things don’t work out, it could be dicey. How­ever, if at this stage of your life you still need ap­proval from friends and fam­ily about dat­ing some­one you like, it ap­pears you are not ready for a re­la­tion­ship.

To My Mus­lim Read­ers: A happy Eid-al-Fitr, one and all!

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