Reader obsesses over friend’s love life

Dear Abby: I have a guy friend who goes from girl to girl constantly. People talk about what a player he is and say he doesn’t really like the women he’s dating. He has been called desperate — among other things. None of this ever gets to him. Even though we are just close friends, he has even asked ME out.

I think he’s doing things all wrong, and I want to tell him so, but I know it’s his life, and he’s going to tell me that. I want people to stop talking behind his back. He annoys me so much when it comes to his dating life that I sometimes want to scream at his face. Do you have advice for me? Good (Girl) Friend In Connecticut

Dear Friend: Yes, I do. You have a right to express your opinions to your friend. That said, try to be less judgmental. Remain his friend but focus less on his dating life so much because it is not your business. You are making a mistake if you allow it to become an obsession.

Dear Abby: My daughter says that if I send a wedding gift of money to the bride and groom even though we weren’t invited, it would make the bride feel guilty for not including me/us.

My daughter and the bride have been friends and sports teammates for 25 years. We watched her grow up into a fine person.

She had a small, backyard wedding, and we completely understood and agreed with her decision to not invite us. What is the proper etiquette on this topic?

Don’t Know In The Midwest

Dear Don’t Know: The rule of etiquette is that if you accept a wedding invitation, you should give the couple a gift.

However, if you do not attend and still would like to send something, it’s not only NOT a breach of etiquette, it is a generous and loving gesture. By all means send the check along with a sweet note expressing the sentiments you shared with me. I assure you, the bride will be touched by your thoughtfulness.

Dear Abby: My husband is the biggest procrastinator I have ever known. He has piles of things lying around that need his attention and projects that need to be finished but get put off day after day.

When I remind him of what needs doing, he accuses me of nagging, so I have stopped reminding him. But it’s boiling inside of me. It has gotten worse since he retired. Also, there are the hours he spends on his iPad.

If I handled things the way he does, nothing would get done, and our house would be a pig pen. I’m frustrated and need some advice on how to handle this without being a nag. I’m ready to go on strike. Beyond Frustrated

In Ohio Dear Beyond: What’s going on is unfair to you.

If this is your husband’s pattern, then he needs to know how angry you are about it. That isn’t nagging; it is venting.

Because he has gotten worse since his retirement, he may need to be seen by his doctor to ensure it isn’t caused by a health problem.

I’m sorry you didn’t mention what kinds of projects your husband is procrastinating about finishing.

If they are minor repairs or handyman things, consider hiring someone to finish them.

If they are financial, your accountant may be able to recommend someone.

Please consider what I am telling you.

The only thing you shouldn’t do is continue to tolerate this.