The News-Times

Woman may be losing beau in prison

- Jeanne Phillips Write to Dear Abby at P.O. Box 96440, Los Angeles, CA 90069 or dearabby.com

Dear Abby: I am a 42-yearold mother of three who has been in a relationsh­ip with a man for almost six years. He is incarcerat­ed. We started out as friends. Things were great until this year, when he reconnecte­d with an old girlfriend.

I had a conversati­on with her over Facebook, and she wanted to invite me out for coffee one day.

I ended up messaging her later on that night, and she told my boyfriend I had “made her uncomforta­ble.” She ended up blocking me on Facebook.

Abby, he’s now saying he’s in love with both of us! I’m not allowed to talk about her, and anything they talk about is “none of my business.” I do not get as many phone calls from him as I used to, and I think it’s because of her. I’m not sure what her plans are, but I get the feeling she’s trying to get me out of the picture. Please tell me what to do.

Crowded in Alaska

Dear Crowded: Forgive me for seeming negative, but from what you have written, I don’t think this man is in love with either one of you.

What you should “do” is reassess your relationsh­ip with this two-timing felon. His ex-girlfriend may indeed be maneuverin­g to get you out of the picture, and my advice to you, which I sincerely hope you will follow, is to LET HER DO IT.

You may have started out as “friends” with this man, but friends do NOT treat friends the way he has been treating you.

Dear Abby: I’ve read many letters over the years about relationsh­ips in which there is a significan­t age gap, and thought I would like to share a success story. My boyfriend and I have a 22-year age difference, and we couldn’t be happier. We are both divorced with children (his is grown and lives independen­tly; mine are 14 and 11). We found each other about a year before the pandemic. He was above the age range I’d specified on online dating apps, but we met at a mutual friend’s art opening.

There were immediate sparks, and we didn’t realize our age difference until about a week later. By then the seeds of a mature, non-codependen­t relationsh­ip were sprouting.

He’s 60 now, and I am 38. We live separately, but go back and forth between the houses most nights. He’s actively engaged in my kids’ lives, and we’re talking about marriage. Because of our age difference, this includes discussing wills, estate planning and the hurdles that come with retirement and raising high schoolers, but we do it with great respect for where the other is in their own journey. This is the best relationsh­ip either of us has ever been in. I’m so glad we didn’t let our age difference prevent us from enjoying this life together.

Luckiest Girl in Texas

Dear Luckiest Girl: When both parties are adults with experience in the world, age is only a number. While there can be challenges in May-December unions, you and your boyfriend appear to be looking at the future with eyes wide open. Thank you for your upper of a letter.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from United States