Dodging the dreaded Connecticut Driver
But when it comes to raw speed and reckless abandon, Connecticut Driver tops them all. My jaw drops as I watch some quicksilver Corvette or screaming motorcycle blast past me, then thread through patchwork taillights, leaving drivers checking the rearview, wondering when the next bullet will approach.
I am just inside the Massachusetts line, heading south on I-91, when here comes Connecticut Driver. He — it must be a “he” — streaks past me on the right. I am driving 68 mph in the middle lane. He is doing 90-plus.
I watch as he darts back into the center lane. Then with the skill and daring of a stock car racer, Connecticut Driver weaves around a white station wagon. As if late for an appointment with light itself, he looms behind a black SUV plodding along at a mere 75. Connecticut Driver tailgates that sorry vehicle until it scurries to the center. Finally, approaching the speed of sound, Connecticut Driver is gone like the proverbial cool breeze.
I drive I-91 in Connecticut twice a month. Every time, every drive, I dodge Connecticut Driver. On short trips to Bradley Airport, I see him once, sometimes twice. On drives to New Haven, I see three, four, five Connecticut Drivers. I have never seen any vehicle stopped by police along the length of I-91. The message is clear. This stretch of interstate is Connecticut’s Daytona or Watkins Glen. This is the speedway of Connecticut Driver.
Yes, there is a Massachusetts Driver and he is legend in these parts. Tooling along at 45 on the Mass Pike, backing down Storrow Drive in Boston to catch a missed turn, waiting, waiting at a side road, and then swinnnnggg !!!! — turning right in front of you, Massachusetts Driver is a pain. And the less said about Rhode Island Driver the better.
But when it comes to raw speed and reckless abandon, Connecticut Driver tops them all. My jaw drops as I watch some quicksilver Corvette or screaming motorcycle blast past me, then thread through patchwork taillights, leaving drivers checking the rearview, wondering when the next bullet will approach.
Some blame the pandemic, all that pent-up energy demanding release. But I began dodging Connecticut Driver years before 2020. Some blame the police, others blame decent drivers for obeying the speed limit. I blame Connecticut Driver.
We all speed at times. We all know 65 mph doesn’t mean 65, and it’s easy to cruise at 70 or 75 for the length of 91. But when your base speed is 90 and you approach 100 when passing, no amount of testosterone can exonerate you. You’re just being a Connecticut Driver.
What is to be done? Well, a few state police on I-91 wouldn’t hurt, but I long ago gave up hope of seeing Connecticut Driver pulled over. Connecticut state police are anywhere but I-91. And our timetested Massachusetts method of dealing with speeders — flipping them the bird — has no effect on Connecticut Driver. By the time you flip him off in Windsor Locks, he’s approaching Hartford, Berlin bound.
As a Massachusetts resident, I’m thankful I only head south a couple times a month. “Watch,” I tell my daughter whenever I pick her up at MetroNorth in New Haven. “Any minute now ...” And there he comes again.
Another white-knuckle drive north, another stream of maniacs making the interstate their racetrack, and I cross the Mass line, safe again. Now I only have to watch for Massachusetts Driver. He’s clueless but harmless.
But seriously, Connecticut. You must stop this. You you know the drivers, the drill, the danger. But do you know the numbers?
According to the U.S. Department of Transportation, Connecticut’s 8.2 annual road deaths per capita ranks 40th among states. But Connecticut has no vast stretches of speedway like Arizona (14.7), no good ol’ boy drinkin’ culture like Arkansas (21.2) or Mississippi (25.4). This is (ahem!) New England, the safest driving region in America. So why should Connecticut’s fatal crash rate be 67 percent higher than Massachusetts and 34 percent higher than Rhode Island? I can think of one answer — Connecticut Driver.
We in Massachusetts urge action. We hope Connecticut state police will leave the donut shops to set a few speed traps. It’s long past time to stop Connecticut Driver before his latest action movie car chase ends in another tragedy.