How honest conversations with kids can help prevent abuse
National Child Abuse Prevention month came to a close over the weekend. In Nome, many events— from a color run to a denim day— were aimed at raising awareness about the importance of keeping kids safe and making them feel empowered to disclose if they are ever harmed. One of the big challenges in preventing child abuse, especially sexual abuse, is that it often goes undisclosed. “There’s a misconception that kids will tell their parents,” said Jennifer Dean-Johnson, an educator and forensic interviewer for Kawerak’s Child Advocacy Center. Nationally, one in three kids will experience teen dating violence. One in four girls and one in 20 boys will be sexually abused before they reach adulthood. Those rates are even higher in Western Alaska. “Our rates for sexual abuse are probably about one in two for girls and about one in five for boys, and then there are certain villages where those rates are even higher,” Dean-Johnson said. It’s very likely that many of those kids are not getting the support they need. Research suggests most child sexual abuse goes unreported altogether. For those who do report it, most wait until they are into adulthood. But a strong caretaker-child relationship could be a determining factor in whether they disclose. That’s why Dean-Johnson encourages parents and guardians to have open communication and conversation with their kids around the topics of sexuality and bodily autonomy. “Kids that are comfortable talking about their body, that are comfortable talking about their private parts—and using proper terminology for their private parts—are less likely to be victimized,” Dean-Johnson said. They’re also more likely to disclose. She said there are many resources, including her office, aimed at helping parents feel comfortable talking about these topics, which, she recognizes, is not always something that people have been taught to do. But she said it’s possible to talk to kids at an age-appropriate level, while also eliminating baby talk and euphemisms for their body parts. “When you say pee pee instead of penis, you’re teaching our kids that penis is a bad word,” she said. “When we give nicknames like cookie or flower to vagina, you’re teaching them that vagina is a bad word. That is the opposite of what you want to do. Kids will model what we do and what we say. When parents aren’t having conversations with their kids about these things, child molesters and perpetrators are. It needs to be frequent, and it needs to be a natural thing.” The Alaska Safe Children’s Act went into effect six years ago, requiring annual education about sexual abuse for kids in grades K-12 and about teen dating violence for kids in grade 7-12. In these lessons for the younger kids, Dean-Johnson said boundaries are emphasized, and kids are taught that everyone can have their own rules about their body. The older kids, meanwhile, will receive additional education about emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse and what healthy relationships should look like. “A lot of the kids are in abusive relationships and don’t necessarily recognize that they’re in abusive relationships until after they’ve been exposed to some education surrounding it,” she said. “Western Alaska has some of the highest rates of sexual abuse in the nation. And we talk to kids about how that ties into other social issues like suicide, homelessness, alcoholism and sexually transmitted diseases.” For the parents who opt out of letting their kids be part of these lessons, Dean-Johnson said: “It’s good to do the education at home, but it’s also good for kids to hear what their peers are hearing and what other kids are learning.” To report child abuse to Alaska’s Office of Children’s Services, call 1800-478-4444. Kawerak’s Child Advocacy Center staff can be reached at 907-443-4488. To report a crime call 911 or Alaska State Troopers at 907443-2835 or Nome Police Department at 907-443-5262.