Wife wants to lose money out of spite

Dear Amy: I’m divorcing my narcissistic husband. He’s medically retired and stays at home all day while I work. I pay all of the household bills.

He’s now stating I have two decisions. 1: Buy him out of the house, which he paid nothing toward. 2: Put it up for sale and split the proceeds.

I want to keep the house to get it ready to sell next year. I’m barely making ends meet, as I had to take a lowerpaying job when I was laid off of my previous job. He’s never offered to pick up anything financially, except to pay for food on occasion.

I’m feeling like I should sell the place as cheaply as possible so he doesn’t get anything. I put $50,000 from my 401(k) as a down payment, which I’ll never get back.

Any thoughts on how to deal with this situation? I’m stuck in a house with a man who just wants me to suffer.

Lost and Broken

Dear Lost: Your husband does not get to dictate the terms of your divorce. The laws in your state will spell out fairly clearly your options regarding your property.

Much depends on whether you live in a Community Property state, or an Equitable Distribution state.

Do some research on your own regarding the divorce laws in your state, and hire a competent attorney to help you make the choice that would benefit you the most.

In my view, low-balling the value of your house in order to punish your husband financially is not an appropriate approach. But low-balling the value of your house in order to sell it quickly and restart your life might be the right thing for you to do.

Dear Amy: I could relate to the letter from “Tired Mom,” who was so worn out dealing with her youngest teen daughter.

My husband and I also struggled with a “mouthy” teenage daughter (youngest of our four). In therapy, she basically said that she felt like the least valuable member of our family.

She is lovely, smart, had nice friends, and an intact family that loved her. It broke my heart. And during that time God told me to stop fighting WITH her, and start fighting FOR her. It changed everything. Mary Beth

Dear Mary Beth: This is beautiful. Many parents will benefit from your wisdom.