Boyfriend gets frequent texts from ex

Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I have been together for three months. We regularly talk about our future together, but there is one thing getting in the way.

His ex, whom he broke up with nearly eight months ago, continues to text him.

At first it was nothing to worry about — it was simply texts arranging for when she would send him payments of money she owed him.

Lately, messages come in nearly every day, saying things like, “I’m having a bad day, please answer this when you see it. I don’t know who else makes me feel safe.” Or, “I can’t wait to be with you again, baby.”

He has been very open with me about the whole thing, letting me read his messages to her and telling me every time she texts him.

He never answers her texts unless it is about money, but his big heart gets in the way when she tries to manipulate him into talking to her.

I want so badly to text her myself and tell her to leave him alone, except I know that would be overstepping, and might mean that he would no longer get his money repaid.

He says he will block her on all platforms when she has repaid him.

I worry that she may never pay him back the total amount in order to always have a reason to talk to him.

The New Girlfriend

Dear Girlfriend: Your boyfriend is doing the right thing by being transparent with you. The downside of him being so open with you is that you have taken on this drama.

You should not contact her. First of all, this is not your business. You do not own this man; you don’t have the right to tell someone not to contact him.

It does seem to me, however, that an “I can’t wait to be with you again, baby” message should be met with a one-time “We have broken up. It’s time for you to move on” message (from him).

If he is stringing her along until she repays him, then he is being almost as manipulative as she is.

You don’t mention what amount of money is still owed, but your boyfriend should let his ex continue to pay her debt, and then he should consider stopping all contact — when she still has a minimal amount left to pay. Forgiving that last payment might be in everyone’s best interest.