Strange accusation roils friendship

Dear Amy: Out of the blue, my best friend of 45 years called to tell me something “uncomfortable” that had been bothering her for about 20 years.

What she said literally caused me to jump right out of my chair.

She declared that over the past 20 years or so, my husband and I had asked her to join us in a “threesome” multiple times.

I was stunned, and asked her what she was talking about. She said that many times over dinner, we had been whispering together and then made suggestions to her that we wanted to have sex with her.

She said she couldn’t remember any specifics.

My husband and I are very flirty together, but I can’t imagine we ever said or did anything untoward.

She had no explanation for why she continued to visit us without saying anything. She said she just hoped it would stop, but realized it wouldn’t.

First of all, we have never entertained this idea — with anyone.

She said I was her best friend, but she didn’t feel “like that” about me and began to cry. I said I didn’t feel that way about her, either.

I told her I understood that she was feeling very upset, but what she was suggesting never happened. She then insisted that I take responsibility.

I honestly thought that she might be having a breakdown. Her life has been challenging for the last few years, and she seems to be floundering. I’m reluctant to write her off completely due to our very long history, but I’m shocked and angry, and I’ll never allow her in my house again.

My husband is done with her. Can this friendship be saved?

Three’s a Crowd

Dear Crowd: No, I don’t think this friendship can be saved — at least in its previous form.

Because this accusation seems so out of bounds, you might assume that she is experiencing some cognitive changes that have brought on emotional instability and this strange accusation.

I hope you can see your way to adopt a compassionate stance toward her. Do not admit to something you haven’t done, but do not write her off.

Express concern for her and urge her to get a medical checkup to make sure she’s OK.

Ask Amy,

P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. e-mail: askamy@tribune.com