Depresssed daughter concerns mom
Dear Abby: My daughter is in her early 20s. When she was younger, she was happy. She socialized, had friends and had fun. She has had several boyfriends, but unfortunately, nothing that panned out.
She feels the only way to be comfortable or worth anything is to have a guy by her side. I think she goes about it in the wrong way. She has few friends now and rarely goes anywhere other than work. She experiences periods of depression and says she is afraid of being rejected, which holds her back from socializing. I try to encourage her to step out of her comfort zone and experience life, but she gets defensive and thinks
I am saying it to be mean, when I am offering her something of value.
Abby, I do it out of care and love. I don’t know how else to help her. I’m afraid if she doesn’t change her lifestyle, the situation will become worse. Can you offer any suggestions to help her through these dark times?
Mom Who’s Worried
in Pennsylvania
Dear Mom: I do have one. When advising your daughter, make sure your tone is perceived as loving and not judgmental. Then point out that the quickest way for her to get her life back on track would be to talk to a licensed mental health professional.
Dear Abby: I got married while stationed in Korea. Over the years, I put drugs and alcohol and friends before my family.
I have four children and two of them are from the same woman. My oldest son and I chat almost daily.
My daughter and youngest son don’t communicate with me in any fashion. I have sent text messages to both of them but received no reply. I learned a couple of days ago that my daughter has been married almost three years.
I miss my family dearly and wish to talk to both of them. Is it hatred and unforgiveness that I am feeling from them? It tears me up inside. I would feel better with any type of reply. What else can I do?
Reaching Out in Illinois
Dear Reaching Out: There is nothing more you can do to get a response from your daughter and youngest son.
They do appear to be indifferent and unforgiving, and have moved on with their lives. You don’t have much choice but to accept it and move on with your own while appreciating the relationship you have with your oldest son.