Addiction pits dad against daughter

Dear Abby: I’m a 35-year-old woman whose father refuses to get along with me no matter how hard I try. Our relationship was always strained due to the alcoholism he has struggled with since my childhood, made worse by the fact that I became an addict. I’ve been in recovery for a while, and I’m clean and sober now.

He and my mother took guardianship of my two sons, ages 12 and 7, because my disease rendered me unable to care for them at that time. I have mentioned getting my kids back after I acquire more clean time; neither of my parents wants that. I know Dad resents me deeply, both because he has my kids and also because of my addiction.

If I can forgive him for what his alcoholism has put me through, why can’t he forgive me? I don’t understand why he has to hate me. Believe me, he HATES me! I just want him to treat me the same way he treats my older brother and sister. I need help with this situation. Counseling is not an option; I know he will refuse.

Hurting in Michigan

Dear Hurting: While counseling for him may be out, it doesn’t mean that you couldn’t benefit from it. Please consider it. It may help you to handle his unpleasantness more effectively. Once you have accumulated more clean time, regaining custody of your children may become something to discuss with a lawyer at that time.

Dear Abby: My wife has started slurping her food at dinner. I think it started after we returned from a vacation three months ago. I’m convinced she didn’t do it before then because we have taken a couple of vacations recently where it would have been noticeable because of the quiet, intimate places in which we dined.

Because of the COVID quarantine, I realize that tensions can be heightened, and I have tried not to make too much of this. I am reluctant to speak up about it.

This may seem like I’m overly sensitive, but her slurping and heavy breathing every time she takes a bite, even with dry food, is making dinner time uncomfortable for me. I have pointed it out in a casual way, but it seems she is unaware of just how loudly she is eating. What can I do to reach a compromise on this? Uncomfortable Diner

Dear Diner: Because this is a recent change in your current wife’s behavior, it should be checked out by her doctor.