Pair’s connection ruffles feathers

Dear Abby: Two and a half years ago we lost my dad, who was 94. He and Mom had been married 72 years. She entered assisted living right before COVID.

Mom has met and befriended a similarly aged widower. They eat together, walk, attend activities and enjoy sitting and talking together every day. They reach for one another’s hands to hold while talking about their departed spouses and are a source of great comfort for each other. I learned about this friendship from facility staff, so I had time to digest it before talking with my mother about it.

At first, I was nervous because I did not want her to be hurt. But I quickly realized that this relationship is very good for both of them.

Mom has recently found out that this man’s daughters are upset about their friendship, and she feels badly. She says she would never do anything to hurt him. Abby, what can I do to help the daughters build trust in this situation? Delicate Situation in

Arksansas

Dear Delicate Situation:

What has happened is a blessing, and I hope the man’s daughters will come to regard it as one. Reaching out to them isn’t a bad idea, if you think it may calm the situation. The older folks have a right to be happy in their remaining years.

Dear Abby: I come from a very small town which has only one school. My sister recently returned to attend her 50th class reunion. It was very informal and held in a local tavern. The event was announced on social media, but no invitations were sent.

When my sister spotted a man who had graduated the following year, she approached him and asked, “What are you doing here? You didn’t graduate with our class!” He answered he had participated in sports with a number of the graduates and wanted to see them again.

Considering that the event was casual, held in a public place and that my sister didn’t organize the event, send out invitations or act as a hostess, I thought her remark was out of line and mean. She disagrees. What do you think?

Small-Town Sis in Illinois

Dear Sis: Depending upon your sister’s tone of voice (and degree of sobriety) when she asked that question, it may have come across as an expression of surprise or curiosity. However, if it was asked in a hostile or accusatory manner, I agree with you that it was out of line and mean.