Boyfriend’s anger simmers, boils over
Dear Abby: I have been with my boyfriend for three years, and it has been great. However, he has serious anger issues that affect our relationship sometimes. It started with small arguments here and there. But as our relationship progressed, so did his mood swings and anger.
He has never hit me. Lately, though, his anger has gotten worse, and he says cruel things to me that he later apologizes for. During our arguments, he never listens to what I have to say.
When the argument is over and I wait a couple days to explain how he hurt my feelings, he tells me I’m overly sensitive and to leave the past in the past.
During our last argument, he asked me how to seek professional help. How can I help him?
Although I love him, I don’t know how long I can last with someone who is so angry all the time.
Broken In California
Dear Broken: Ask your doctor or your insurance provider for a referral to a psychologist who can either help your boyfriend or get him into an anger-management class. He definitely needs professional help. But please know that verbal abusers often become physical abusers if they don’t receive help, and the verbal bashing is terrible for your self-esteem.
Dear Abby: I recently served on a committee to hire a professional-level staff member for my organization. Eligible candidates are required to possess a bachelor’s degree or higher.
One of them had his phone on and it repeatedly buzzed with incoming messages during the interview. Another, when asked if she had any questions for us, pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket and started swiping the screen saying that she had some questions on her phone.
I found it unsettling that these two candidates couldn’t disengage from their phones long enough to participate in a job interview! It made me wonder if they could disconnect from their cellphones long enough to do the job, if hired. Am I showing my age?
Unimpressed In The South
Dear Unimpressed: A job candidate should be prepared before a job interview. Cellphones should be turned off or put on silent mode during the interview. As for Candidate Two, members of her generation often put things like that on their cellphones. A younger interviewer may have let this slide. You didn’t. Next candidate!