Stepmom can’t be there for baby

Dear Abby: My stepdaughter, “Zoe,” has recently had her first baby and we are very excited. She lives far away. My husband, “Karl,” is taking the trip, but I have to stay because my elderly mother is living with us.

While I called to congratulate other relatives on becoming new aunts, etc., none of them reciprocated. Later, one of them reluctantly said they were told I was not the grandmother (even if Zoe’s biological mother had passed away), nor would I ever be.

This is bittersweet. I do not want to replace anyone. I’ve been hoping for a grandchild for a long time. I have been with Karl for more than 20 years. I’m crushed.

How do I navigate this? Must I just admire from afar like a bystander?

Cast Aside In New York

Dear Cast Aside: You are the child’s STEP-grandmother, and photos should be shared with you. I hope Karl will impress this upon his daughter as well as let her know how hurt you have been by the treatment you have been receiving.

Dear Abby: My friend often complains that she and her husband don’t have any other friends and she doesn’t know why. I know why, but I’m not sure if I should say anything.

Her husband is nice, but he’s a long-winded talker who takes over every conversation, bragging about himself and the people he knows.

I believe he does this to impress people, but it actually repels them. He does this every time, and I have witnessed guys walk away and keep their distance from him. This includes my husband.

She wants my husband to get closer to him, but my husband can’t stand him because of this. So, should I be honest and tell her what the deal is? I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Or must I keep pretending I don’t know?

Knows Why In New Jersey

Dear Knows: I think you would be doing the woman a favor by telling her something like this: “I can’t arm-twist my husband into a closer relationship with yours than they already have.

If you would like to know why, I will tell you.” If she says yes, explain that you like her very much, but her husband’s need to dominate the conversation and brag about his accomplishments, net worth, etc. (fill in the blanks) drives people away.