Self-centered brother has siblings at wits’ end

DEAR ABBY » I come from a nice family. My siblings are thoughtful and kind, but one of my brothers is a conversational narcissist. He drones on for hours (if we let him) without asking a single question to engage another person.

He sees nothing wrong with talking endlessly about his work and his acquisitions, which interest no one. He will compare, indirectly, my home with his, assuming that his is far superior and better decorated — never considering that my home is just right for me and that I do not lust for more. All of us listen to him and do our best to show an interest without ever receiving that courtesy in return.

How can we nudge him toward showing an interest in others? In his times of need, I have been there for him and listened to his troubles, and I have gotten the impression that he’s kinder than any of us have assumed, given his self-centered ramblings. Is there any way to influence him toward being a more thoughtful conversationalist?

—Sore-Eared Sibling

DEAR SIBLING » Yes, there is. “Someone” is going to have to tell this brother — in as gentle language as possible — that hogging the conversation is as unwelcome as hogging all the food at the buffet. He should also be told that comparing what he has to that of his siblings, who may have less, comes across as bragging, which makes them uncomfortable.

If no one has the courage to address this, a group intervention may be needed to stanch the motormouth. However, if this is more than any of you want to risk, see this sibling separately one-on-one. If he’s not playing to a crowd, he may behave differently.