Edmond woman’s book offers hope for ‘Love Junkies’
Some women may find themselves going from relationship to relationship, spinning out of control in a toxic love cycle that thrives on unhealthy patterns and low self-esteem.
Or maybe they just experience one really bad relationship that shreds their selfworth and leaves their heart in pieces.
Christy Johnson, an Edmond author and Christian life coach, said today’s sexsaturated society makes it easy for some ladies to find themselves addicted to love or, more likely, something masquerading as love.
She said she should know, because she was one of those women.
“I was a love junkie, and men were my drug of choice,” she said candidly during a recent interview.
Johnson, 54, said faith proved to be the antidote to her relationship woes, and she’s trying to help other women battling similar issues.
Her book “Love Junkies” (Authentic Publishers, $14.99) proclaims that it offers “hope for women stuck in the toxic love rut.”
Along with the book, Johnson offers a small-group discussion guide and video series for women who want to escape the “love junkies” cycle by supporting each other and holding each other accountable. She said her book offers seven steps to ending the cycle.
‘Looking for someone’
Propelling women out of the shadows of shame and guilt, the Love Junkies small groups and classes have proven popular, Johnson said. She said this is because she offers her personal background and stories so that women will know they are not alone.
Johnson said in her past, she went from unhealthy relationship to unhealthy relationship because she put too much time, energy and value into men and ill-advised relationships.
“Because my identity wasn’t secure in Christ, I settled,” she said. “No man can provide that source of identity that we need, and when a
man fails, we go looking for someone else.”
Now happily married, (husband John sometimes attends a Love Junkie class or two with her), Johnson said women who have read the book appreciate her candor and her Bible-based advice.
“They say ‘Thank you for being transparent,’ ” she said.
“They see that if you can heal from it, there is hope. They end up buying it (the book) for their friends.”
Transforming the heart
Johnson said she found her own healing years ago in a small-group environment with a caring mentor and group of women.
She said “Love Junkies” is about more than Scripture; it’s about changing a woman’s heart so she makes better decisions that honor both herself and the Lord.
“We can teach them Scripture, but if we don’t know how to apply them to our lives, they’re just going to be words in our head,” she said.
“It’s not the memorization of Scripture, of truth, that sets us free. It’s the application of truth that brings liberty.”
She said the first step in making such a heart change is being ready to change and accept responsibility for one’s actions.
It’s also critically important that a woman understand what attributes may make her a “love junkie.”
Johnson said a love junkie is typically someone who compromises personal values and self-esteem to keep a relationship together.
Such a woman may put up with deceit, cheating and abuse and generally offers too much of herself.
A love junkie typically can’t quite let go of an unhealthy relationship even when it is obviously to her detriment, Johnson said.
Johnson said she advises women to establish boundaries in their lives, perhaps starting with several actions she calls “baby steps.”
But small steps are great as long as they are steps in the right direction, she said.