Taking photos without asking is rude party behavior
I think someone once said, “I have plenty of friends I don’t particularly like,” but I am lucky to have only one. When invited for dinner or other occasions to people’s homes, this friend sends a string of photos, complete with texted descriptions and subtitles, from his cellphone to mine. “Just look at this house!” he exclaims. “Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?” Then, I receive a series of photos of the exterior, the public and private rooms of the house, and even photos of the hosts themselves!
In a recent episode, it was obvious the hosts were unaware that they were being photographed. This occurred while they were preparing dinner, serving wine and talking to other guests in a large, open-plan kitchen. I wonder what these hosts might have thought, had they known that pictures were being sent to a person they have never met.
It continued in this fashion for part of the evening. “These people,” he stated, referring to the other guests, “are all millionaires!” And this was the subtext of yet another series of photos. “They are so rich, they spend part of the year in Europe!” He also sent a photo of his new car in the owner’s paver-system driveway to somehow validate the point that he was in his element.
It seems to me there are several etiquette violations taking place, but I don’t want to violate Miss Manners’ rule that I should avoid pointing them out. I have tried all the obvious ways of discouraging this practice, including simply asking him to stop. Blocking is not an option. My plea has fallen on deaf ears. What do you suggest?
Not inviting this person to your house — and deleting all his communications without looking at them or responding.
But yours is not the chief problem Miss Manners sees here. It is those innocent people whose privacy is being invaded by a rude guest who worry her. Even if they consented to being photographed for distribution, commenting on their means would be rude. If she were not leery of adding to this distasteful gossip mill, she would be tempted to forward the material to the victims without comment, so that they could handle the situation if they chose.
Is there any social gathering large enough to render the use of a cellphone, e-reader or even a printed book or magazine acceptable? I have the interests of the wallflower in mind. If no one is clamoring to converse with a particular guest (who is, perhaps, accompanying a spouse), might he or she as well settle down for some light reading?
Only if the wallflower’s hope is to remain a wallflower, and a conspicuous burden to the spouse. In that case, Miss Manners wonders, why bother going out to social events? Guests, as well as hosts, are obligated to help make a party work. Wallflowers should be out gathering other wallflowers in the interest of making a bouquet.
The most important thing you can do is to build your marriage on God and His will for your lives. As my wife used to say, a strong marriage actually needs to include three people: the husband, the wife — and God.
Begin your life together, therefore, by committing your lives and your marriage to Jesus Christ. Remember: Marriage isn’t just a social convenience or a legal custom. Marriage comes from God, and it is one of His greatest gifts to us. When times of stress or disappointment come (and they will), remember that God brought you together, and you made your marriage vows not only to each other but also to Him. Never forget Jesus’ words: “Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Mark 10:9).
In addition, include Christ in your lives every day. Pray together — not just before meals (although that’s important), but regularly every day. Set aside time also to read God’s Word together, and seek out a church where you can grow in your relationship with each other and with Christ.
The greatest enemy of love is selfishness, putting self first instead of the needs of others, especially your spouse. Inscribe God’s definition of love on your hearts and minds every day: “Love is patient, love is kind ... . It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres” (1 Corinthians 13:4,7). This is the kind of love God has for us and the kind we should have for each other. Actor Actress Sportscaster Reggae artist Actor Singer Actor Singer-producer Musician Rapper Comedian Singer Rapper Blues singer Actress Anatomy”), 34.
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Discipline and research are encouraged. Put more time and effort into personal improvements and your relationship with someone special. Share your feelings and set the stage for romance.
A new interest will result in inexpensive fun. It’s OK to do things differently. Figure out what works best for you and carry on.
Follow your gut feeling and get involved in something that promises personal gain or improvement. Romance is featured, and sharing an experience with someone will bring you closer together.
Don’t take on responsibilities that don’t belong to you. An unexpected change of plans shouldn’t stop you from doing your own thing. Stick close to home and nurture what’s important to you.
You will be at the top of your game physically, so make your actions count. Don’t let someone meddle in your affairs. Stay focused and enjoy a competitive challenge.
Take the path of least resistance. There is no point in arguing or letting your emotions get the better of you. Do what needs to be done and move on.
Enjoy meeting new people or visiting places you’ve never been before. A gathering or reunion will lead to love and romance. Don’t be afraid to initiate personal change.
You’ll have some great ideas that will help you incorporate something you love to do into the way you earn your living. A discussion with a colleague or someone influential will motivate you.
Keep a low profile. Avoid anyone looking for a fight or trying to pressure you into something that isn’t in your best interest. Altering your living arrangements will be beneficial.
Look after your physical well-being and make a point to find healthy alternatives to any bad habits or routines you’ve adopted. Be smart and do what’s best for you.
You need to get back to the things and people that make you happy. Spend time with children, family or the one you love. Personal improvements will bring high returns.
Don’t give in to an unrealistic plan or individual. Emotions will surface, causing confusion and imprudent choices. Don’t contribute to something you know little about. Protect against loss.