Ex-friend cast out of social circle drams of vengeance

My friend has decided she can no longer tolerate my husband. She feels he doesn’t “respect” her. We have supported her emotionally and financially from time to time for many years. My husband does have a habit of making clunky jokes. But a friend should see beyond that to the loving, supportive person he is at his core and forgive.

We are banned from her social group. I find this very harsh. I guess my friendship doesn’t count, as I’m being thrown out with the perceived trash. I want some kind of revenge and to hurt her back. I was so happy with our group. Now it’s been taken away from me. Advice?

Yes. Rather than seek revenge, tell the woman how hurt you feel. Time is our most precious commodity. The more time you spend plotting retaliation, the more space this woman is taking up in your head, and it’s not healthy — for you.

Once you have spoken to her, go on with your life. Continue to see others in the group on an individual basis, if necessary. If they are real friends, I’m sure they’ll be glad to do that.

I am a 34-year-old single mother of a beautiful 3-year-old boy. Because of infertility problems, it took years for me to conceive. I love my son and, when I’m not working, I’m usually shuttling him to extracurricular activities and making time after cooking and cleaning to play with him.

Because my world revolves around being a mom, I have a hard time participating in conversations without talking about my son. I realize this can be irritating to others, and it is frustrating for me.

I’m educated, opinionated and well-read, but I seem to have lost the ability to relate to other adults and make friends away from my role as a mother. Any advice would be helpful at this point.

Considering the fact that your total focus is on your child, it’s not surprising he’s your main topic of conversation. Because you want to expand your repertoire, broaden it by bringing up current events, which should give you plenty of fodder for conversation.

I am honored to again participate in National Women’s Health Week. Women are the primary caretakers in most societies, but in the process, we too often forget to care for ourselves. Please don’t procrastinate. National Women’s Health Week is a perfect time to begin. Visit womenshealth.gov/nwhw for more information.