Don’t wait ’til too late to communicate about drinking

A few years ago, a New York Times columnist tried to address the issue of how parents should deal with their children’s use of alcohol. The columnist professed his own frustration with knowing what to do: Should you allow your teen to drink alcohol in moderation under your supervision, or should you take a zero tolerance stance? When he invited readers to share their own stories, he received this one from a woman named Jackie in Baltimore:

According to the Youth Risk Behavior Survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, about 1 in 6 teens drink alcohol and about the same number of high school kids has binged on alcohol. Overall, a third of teenagers drink alcohol on a regular basis. Instead of trying to deal with the issue of drinking when a crisis hits, parents would do well to begin the drinking dialogue much earlier.

Here are a few suggestions:

If you use alcohol, drink in moderation. If you abstain, explain why. Surprisingly, research indicates the overwhelming majority of teens say their parents have the most influence over their drinking decisions.

Ages 7-11 is ideal. It only gets harder to talk about drinking to young people as they get older.

Don’t say, “I don’t want to ever catch you drinking.” Instead, talk factually about the problems caused by underage drinking and communicate both rules and consequences for violations. This is an important one. When your kids are young, go over potential peer pressure situations and help them role play ways of handling friends who urge them to drink. Practicing ahead of time really helps.

Next to parents, friends have the most influence on a child’s decision about alcohol. Don’t wait until your son or daughter issues a graduation party ultimatum to talk about alcohol. Start early and be a positive influence on your children’s decisions about drinking.