FAMILY MATTERS
Bill Graves had gassed up his pickup before sundown Thursday night and had packed his bag before most folks ate breakfast Friday morning. He was ready to go. Destination: Big 12 title game in Arlington, Texas.
“We’re all excited about the big game,” he said.
Graves was referring to his traveling party. Son Greg. Grandsons Bron and Kyle. But the truth is, no one was more excited than Graves.
The 81-year-old is fired up about Sooner football.
On a weekend some Oklahoma fans face a dilemma — go to the Big 12 title game or save up for a potential appearance in the College Football Playoff?
There was never a question for Bill Graves. He started talking about going to Jerry World for this game long before the Sooners’ participation was sure.
“If we make it there,” he told family earlier this season, “I think I’d like to go.”
His grandson Bron Austin Deal chuckles about how things have changed with the man he calls Papa.
“We didn’t expect it to be this way,” Deal said.
That’s because Papa wasn’t all that excited about going to football games or traveling to new places or doing much of anything after the love of his life died in 2012.
Shirley Graves was doting and affectionate and outgoing. Everyone knew her as Nana.
“She was a beautiful woman,” Papa said.
But for more than two decades, Nana battled lupus. The inflammatory disease causes the immune system to attack itself, resulting in all sorts of pain.
There came a point where she was essentially homebound. It was just easier for her to be comfortable at home.
Papa built his days around her. After retiring from the Air Force after 24 years and becoming a banker in Chickasha, he never ventured more than a few hours from their home. He would attend at least one OU football game a year, but it was always a home game in Norman. Going to a bowl? Leaving the state? That was out of the question.
“He never left her side,” Deal said. “It was heartbreaking, and yet at the same time, it was heartwarming. There was never a doubt he was supposed to be there. That was the way it was supposed to be.”
But after Nana died, the family worried about Papa. They’d been together for 55½ years.
How would he live without her?
There were tough days to be sure, but slowly but surely, Papa found joy again. One of his granddaughters started showing pigs, and because he’d helped some of his kids do that when they were young, he started helping her. Then another granddaughter moved back to Oklahoma from Texas and moved in with Papa.
He found joy in family. And one of the things the family loves most is OU.
Now, Papa is quick to point out that not everyone cheers for the Sooners. There are Oklahoma State loyalists in the family, and Papa admits that he pulls for the Cowboys, just not as much as the Sooners.
“They’re a good No. 2,” he said, laughing.
But visit his farm, and you see that crimson and cream rules. He flies Sooner flags. He sets out OU paraphernalia on game days. He even drives a Sooner red pickup.
And in the past couple years, his love for the Sooners has motivated him to get out of his comfort zone. He still likes to be the one who feeds the chickens and the cows every morning, but for OU football, he’s made exceptions.
Last season, Papa ventured with his traveling party to New Orleans for the Sugar Bowl. He spent some time stationed near there when he was in the Air Force, so it was a chance to revisit some important places.
“Those experiences will live forever,” Deal said.
So, too, will the ones from the game against Auburn.
There are times that Papa’s sidekicks find themselves watching him instead of the game. They get a kick out of his emotion, his delight, his glee.
Papa has his own favorite memories. He tears up when he hears the national anthem. He loves when there’s a flyover at the end. He particularly loved the one a few years back before the game against Air Force.
“We beat ‘em, of course,” he said, laughing again.
He hopes that’s the outcome Saturday against TCU. But regardless, Papa knows the trip will be a success.
“We’ve had a fun time with all these things,” he said. “The Lord’s been good to us. We have a great time and enjoy OU football.”