Parents, children could benefit from unstructured downtime

Exhausted parents tell me the most time they spend with their kids is in the car. It is also where they consume meals as they dash in and out of drivethru’s and eat on the go. Weary parents feel stretched thin as they hold down jobs, take care of their children and try to stay involved in community events and interests of their own. Children look and act tired, complain of headaches and pains, are sleep deprived, moody and anxious, have a drop in grades, spend less time with friends and family, and become apathetic in general. Adult and Child Psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, M.D., and author of the book “CRAZYBUSY” says parents need to be concerned and take a serious look at their overscheduled lives. Hallowell believes if the work of children is education, then many of today’s children are holding down second jobs with dance classes, soccer games, sporting events, band practice, music lessons, church groups, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, basketball, football, debate tournaments, speech contests, etc. Alvin Rosenfield, M.D., and Nichole Wise, co-authors of the book “The OverScheduled Child: Avoiding The Hyper-Parenting Trap” observe that contemporary parents see their fundamental job as designing a perfect upbringing for their offspring, from conception to college, and that a child’s success, quantified by achievements will earn admission to an elite university. The downside — it is easy for children to get the message they have value only if they perform. The co-authors say, “Somewhere along the line we have forgotten that childhood is a preparation, not a full performance.”