Widower ready to live alone is pained to leave aunt behind
DEAR ABBY: I am a 61-year-old widower. A year ago I faced a bleak future and expressed a desire to kill myself. My cousin in another state, whom I hadn’t seen since childhood, invited me to move in with him and his mother — my late mother’s sister.
I now have plans for the future, which include returning to the state I left. The thing is, my cousin resolves disputes with his fists. I know that when I move, my aunt will want to come with me.
Frankly, I prefer to be alone in my home when I move. I’ll want cats; she’s allergic. She smokes; I don’t. The job I want will have me on the road for days at a time. While it would be nice to have someone in the house while I’m away, I’d rather have it be empty than have her there.
I’m sorry her only child is abusive, but am I really the solution? Moving is about a year away, but this dilemma bothers me. When it’s time to relocate, what can I tell her? — Mulling it Over in Mississippi
DEAR MULLING: Start talking privately with your aunt and impress upon her that no one — including her son — has the right to physically or emotionally abuse her. Encourage her to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline (the toll-free number is 800-799-7233) and talk to someone there.
I’m sorry you didn’t mention who is supporting whom, but she should not remain in a home where her safety may be threatened. And if her son raises a hand to her in your presence, you shouldn’t hesitate to call 911. If he does it when you’re not around, impress upon her that she must call.
DEAR ABBY: I recently received an email from my ex-husband, who lives in the same state as my daughter. In it he asked me to agree to a budget he has given my daughter for her upcoming wedding. There was no discussion with me regarding the amount.
Abby, he gave her a budget of $100,000 and expects me to pay half!
I said absolutely not, the number was flat-out ridiculous, and he should never have promised that figure to begin with, let alone without consulting me. Your thoughts?
— Now the Bad One DEAR “BAD ONE”: I think the same way you do. He should never have promised any amount of money without first discussing it with you. I also think it is time to bring your daughter and her fiance into the conversation. Many modern couples split the cost of their wedding between themselves, so don’t feel defensive when you do it.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby. com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
Harry Ruby, a composer and screenwriter who was inducted into the Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1970, said, “Living in California adds 10 years to a man’s life. And those extra 10 years I’d like to spend in New York.”
At the bridge table, if you are looking for an extra 10 tricks, you are in big trouble. But one or two extra winners might not be impossible.
In today’s deal, North pushes his partner into seven spades. When the dummy comes down, South can see only 12 top tricks: seven spades, one heart, three diamonds and one club. From where will the extra winner come?
South’s jump-rebid of four spades promised a solid suit with a trick on the side. When Blackwood revealed that South had the club ace, North ambitiously plunged into the grand slam. (If you employ Roman Key Card Blackwood, South should still show his trump king and trump queen, if only to reassure partner that he has not forgotten about the solid-suit requirement.)
Declarer has a heart loser in each hand. The most common ways of gaining an extra trick (and simultaneously eliminating a loser) are to discard a loser on a winner in the other hand or to take a ruff in the shorter trump hand. Sometimes, declarer first discards, then ruffs -- as in this deal.
South wins with dummy’s heart ace, plays a trump to his ace, cashes dummy’s two diamond winners, crosses back to hand with a club and pitches the heart five on the diamond queen. Then he trumps his last heart and tables his six top trumps.