Woman discovers truth about boyfriend's dangerous nature
DEAR ABBY: I have been in a wonderful relationship and blissfully happy for two years. We live together. When "Scott" and I first got together, he told me he had a felony conviction and that a woman had falsely accused him of rape. I laughed it off because I didn't want to see the truth, but it ate at me badly. Then I finally looked it up via a background check, and it's really bad.
Two months after his ex-girlfriend broke up with him, Scott broke into her house and raped her while she was passed out on prescription sleeping pills. She called the police the next day, and he got a plea bargain, went to jail for 100 days and paid her $20,000 in restitution, probation and the whole thing. Scott still insists it was all her fault and that he is the victim. What do you think?
— Shattered in the West DEAR SHATTERED: I am so glad you asked. What I think is that you should extricate yourself from a relationship with this disturbed felon as quickly AND CAREFULLY as you can. That Scott blames his victim for the rape he committed tells me he still has not accepted responsibility for his actions and that he is dangerous. Consider contacting the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (rainn.org; 800-656-4673) for advice on how to safely end it.
DEAR ABBY: I am a 55-year-old woman dating a 63-year-old man. Our relationship didn't start out in the best of circumstances eight years ago because he was still in his 25-year marriage. His wife had been living out of state. When she eventually learned about our relationship, she asked for a divorce. The divorce has been final for more than a year.
I understand that he is embarrassed to let his friends know he is now divorced, but his closest friends know.
He gets irritated and upset with me when I ask if this friend or that knows about the divorce yet. Must I just accept that I was never meant to really be a part of his life, even though he tells me he loves me?
— Still in Hiding in Washington
DEAR STILL IN HIDING:
I'm sorry, but I think you may be finally reading the handwriting on the wall quite clearly. If he were proud of this relationship and in love with you, he would be showing you off to his friends, not hiding you. Have you actually seen his divorce papers, and are you absolutely sure that this man is divorced?