The Oklahoman

Important questions to ask yourself as you grow in life

- Charlotte Lankard Guest columnist Charlotte Lankard is a licensed marriage and family therapist in private practice. Contact her at clankard@cox.net.

Important questions and necessary questions, if you are interested in growing — not aging, but growing.

Do I have a good balance between work, play, and time with friends and family? Do I make time for myself ? Can my friends and I lean on each other in difficult times? Do my friends and I inspire, enrich and make each other laugh? Is the work I do — employed or volunteeri­ng — useful to others? Am I open to becoming acquainted with new people, especially someone different? Does my life have moments of joy?

These questions are important because there is a difference between growing older and growing in ways that make us better and wiser at living our lives — and that can continue until our lives end.

I am reminded of my friend Patsy Hutchens’ Aunt Galia, who died a few months after her 100th birthday. Galia, married 66 years, was a woman who participat­ed in protest marches, was active in a woman’s world peace organizati­on and was always concerned with world hunger and health needs.

A granddaugh­ter asked her on her 100th birthday what she had learned was important after living that long.

“Choose something to do with your life that will utilize as many of your talents and abilities as possible. If there is one thing everyone should have, it is sympathy for others,” Galia answered. “Read lots of novels, especially the older ones. Sex is good. Everyone needs someone to love.”

Galia lived to be 100, but she never quit growing. Her niece Patsy, my friend for over 40 years, has those same genes. Now in her 90’s, she owns 3Sixty Entertainm­ent Powerhouse — a dance studio/event center — and continues to do competitiv­e ballroom dancing. Aunt Galia would be pleased.

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