Young woman feels pressure to be ‘perfect’
Dear Abby: My name is “Lucia,” I am 15 and I live in Santa Catarina, Brazil. My high school classmates and I saw a letter from “Needs a Direction, Atlanta” online. That’s why I’m asking for some advice from you.
Here in my country, there is a lot of awareness about female power and body positivity, however, we also have a standard of beauty that many girls can’t or don’t want to follow. On social media we see a lot of perfect girls with thousands of followers on Instagram. I don’t let myself be shaken by my appearance or my defects, but sometimes I feel “excluded” because I’m not like the “amazing girl on social media.”
I like the way I look, but I feel out of place in relation to what is expected of teenage beauty. What advice would you give me to avoid feeling inferior to the “amazing girls on social media”?
– Coping with Being Me
Dear Coping: Understand that outward appearance is only one aspect of a person. Looking like they were stamped out of a cookie cutter is a mistake too many girls (and women) make. Please know you are far from the only female who struggles with her self-image. The images and lives displayed on social media are oftentimes not reality.
What you must remember is the importance of being YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF. Be neat, clean and well-groomed in your daily life. Be friendly to others. What are your talents, qualities and goals? Concentrate on developing them because they not only won’t fade with time, they will continue to improve. If you do this, others will find you attractive, and it won’t require cosmetic surgery, regardless of how popular it may be in your country. (And mine.)
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
What teens need to know about sex, drugs, AIDS and getting along with peers and parents is in “What Every Teen Should Know.” Send your name and mailing address, plus check or money order for $8 (U.S. funds) to: Dear Abby, Teen Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447. (Shipping and handling are included in the price.)