Looking for a welcoming response to ‘thank you’
QUESTION: What ever happened to the words “you are welcome” when someone says “thank you?” People continue to answer “no problem” and I cannot wrap my head around that one. “Thank you.” “No problem.” That does not make sense.
I do like it when the Chick -fil-A people say “my pleasure” in response to “thank you.”
Is there a way to return to “you are welcome”?
CALLIE’S ANSWER: I agree, Chickfil-A is an establishment that makes sure their employees speak respectfully to customers. That being said, this is all about being taught and modeled. It starts at home.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: I like this question. It reminds me — again — that we are all different people who have different ways of approaching things and different priorities, whether the topic is minor or huge. The trick is how to do our best to acknowledge another person’s feelings about a subject and, with the major issues, to stay true to who we are and how we say things without hurting someone else.
To me, how people answer the words “thank you” is not a big deal as long as they do so sincerely and as a nice way of acknowledging a thank-you. If I stop and think about it, “no problem” and “no worries” don’t make much sense, especially if I whatever I did to be thanked wasn’t a problem or anything I was worried about. But I generally don’t pay much attention to responses like this and understand that language is always evolving and that between all of us diverse humans, people have different ways of saying things. It is fascinating to watch. But you are right in that “you’re welcome” or “my pleasure” seem like a better answer than the others you mentioned. I don’t think you can do anything to fix this, though, other than teach it in your own family. And even then, children are going to grow into their own people, often repeating what they hear their friends say.
HELEN’S ANSWER: “You are welcome” is still in style, and it has a nice ring to it. Hopefully, people can remem
ber to say it. “No Problem” and “No Worries” are more informal replies. It usually does not convey what I want to say and people think I am being rude by saying it. At my age, I usually want to say “thank you for helping me.”
Some people answer “you bet,” “anytime” or “absolutely.” I do love Chick-filA’s “my pleasure,” and if they forget to say that, I am very disappointed.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Joe Hight, Edith
Kinney Gaylord Endowed Chair of Journalism Ethics at the University of Central Oklahoma and director of the Oklahoma Journalism Hall of Fame: I used to wonder the same thing when receiving a response other than “you are welcome” or at least “you’re welcome.”
I think many of us have been conditioned to say that when someone says “thank you” to us. However, over time, that has changed, and we hear all sorts of replies instead of that “perfect” one we’ve been accustomed to or taught when we were young. I consider the response not on whether it’s “you are welcome” or “my pleasure,” but the tone in which it’s said. Does the person mean it? Do I mean it?
I’ve decided that a sincere response is much better than no response or the exact words said with it.
Since 2009, Callie, Lillie-Beth and Helen have written this generational etiquette column. They also include guest responses from a wide range of ages each week. So many years later, Callie is 20-plus; Lillie-Beth is 40-plus and Helen is 60-plus. To ask an etiquette question, email helen.wallace@cox.net.