If someone has a problem, don’t just ignore them

I have learned through personal experience that when you are wearing a cast, are on crutches, a knee scooter, or in a wheel chair, people may pass by you never mentioning the obvious, or their voices change and they talk down to you as if you are a child.

I remember people passing my 93year old mother, secured in her wheelchair so she wouldn’t fall. They called her “honey,” “sweetie,” “little girl.” She was a grown woman. Her name was Mary.

I recall a young Vietnamese boy who worked as part of our cleaning crew. He did not speak English. When trying to communicate with him, we began to realize we were talking loudly, as though if we raised the volume, he would understand us.

I remember a college student who was blind who told me other students would pass by him and not speak, assuming because he couldn’t see, he wouldn’t know they were there.

When anyone has a problem, the rest of us are usually a little uncomfort

able. Not knowing what to say or how to help or a way to fix it, we have a tendency to say and do nothing.

I have learned, first of all, to speak to people in a normal tone of voice. It may be simply making eye contact and saying hello. I usually do not ignore the wheelchair, the knee scooter or the crutches. It may be as simple as saying, “I’ve spent time in a wheelchair.”

They’ll let you know if they want to talk more about why they are using it — or not.

In the coming months you may see me in a power chair. Don’t ignore me. Say hello. Use the voice you’d use speaking to another adult. I’ll be glad to see you, but please know I’m really tired of talking about myself and when I ask about you, please know I really mean it.