The Oklahoman

Advice to graduate leads to major falling-out

- Jeanne Phillips

Dear Abby: I have been in my second marriage for almost 20 years. My wife came with two grown children, who each have two kids. I have tried to be the best family man I could, and a father and grandfathe­r who treated them like they were my own.

My wife’s daughter “Diana” recently disrupted everything after I gave her daughter (my granddaugh­ter) some financial advice after she graduated from college. Diana not only went off on me, but also lied to her children about me and has shut me and my wife out of their lives. I’m crushed and trying not to lose the relationsh­ips with Diana’s kids. I don’t feel I did anything wrong. The advice I gave was sound and nothing a profession­al would disagree with. Please advise.

– Hurting from Helping

Dear Hurting: You have my sympathy. This may be an unfortunat­e example of “no good deed goes unpunished.” Because Diana refuses to discuss the matter, the breach she has created isn’t fixable. If you are successful in maintainin­g a relationsh­ip with the grandkids, you may eventually find out what set your wife’s daughter off. In the meantime, you and your poor wife must accept what has happened and do your best not to allow it to further disrupt your lives.

Dear Abby: Like a lot of people, I’m working from home. Today I was completing a complicate­d procedure between calls from customers and getting conflicting instant messages from my supervisor and manager. I exclaimed a cuss word and suddenly got an IM from the manager saying I shouldn’t cuss. I’m at home, in my room, using my computer and on pause so I can’t receive a call from a customer, and my manager is listening to me? Was I in the wrong here?

– Caught in Texas

Dear Caught: Yes, you were. If you did something during business hours that you wouldn’t do at the office, you shouldn’t have been doing it at home. (In the future, if you want to blurt out a few choice words, do it while you are well away from the microphone!)

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