People of strength respect pain, ask for help

“You are a strong woman.” Although I appreciate the words, they make me feel like there is no room for feeling (or acting) less than strong.

Then my friend Nikki Green sent me a quote from Dr. Edith Eger: I like to think of myself as a woman of strength – rather than a strong woman.

That works better for me because it allows me those normal “down” times, knowing I will not stay there, but will eventually tire of feeling sorry for myself, or be willing to ask for help, and then, using my strength (emotional or physical), pick myself up and go on.

For the last 42 years, physical pain was a daily occurrence. What I have learned about myself is I have a strong pain tolerance, and I tend to ignore it. A physical therapist reminded me pain is my friend. It is there to get my attention. It is telling me something needs to change, and to ignore it is not wise. It will only get worse if unheeded.

I see this in clients. Pain becomes familiar. We get used to it. Yet if nothing changes, we should not be surprised the pain continues.

I often wonder why it is we are willing to put up with something painful until it overpowers us and stops us? It may be physical, emotional, in a relationship or a place of employment. Why is it so hard to stop and say “I don’t want to live like this anymore,” or “I need some help”?

I’ve come to believe that people of strength are those who respect their pain, admit they need help, ask for it, and take steps to manage it or to change the circumstances causing it.

When this happens, life can become more comfortable and less complicated.