Wife shocked by husband’s extracurricular activity
Dear Abby: I have been married 31 years. I recently found out my husband belongs to a singles group. The group meets once a week, and my husband never misses a meeting. I went with him to their most recent one and realized it was made up of mostly WOMEN. My husband knew all of them, particularly one named “Lauren,” who he said he found interesting. I suspect that he is too interested in her.
Our marriage isn’t great. Sex is infrequent because he has ED and does nothing about it. He’s obsessed with his weight and works out four times a week. He’s not a good communicator and has become secretive. I’m worried that he may have something going on with Lauren and I’m very anxious about it. I don’t know what to do. Please advise. We have gone to marriage counseling but it didn’t help.
– Surprised, But Not Surprised Dear Surprised: That a married man would join a singles group is galling. The purpose of singles groups is for ELIGIBLE individuals to meet each other. That this was hidden from you until recently isn’t a good sign, but consider yourself lucky you were able to attend that meeting.
Contact your physician and ask to be screened for STDs in case your husband has “discovered” Viagra since joining the singles group. Because he isn’t using an erection enhancer with you doesn’t mean he may not have been using it with someone else – Lauren, for instance.
Protect yourself and your financial interests. Consult an attorney and a CPA to establish what and where the marital assets are, and what you are entitled to in case of a divorce. The CPA can help with that if it becomes necessary. Then ask your husband what he expects from socializing with single women and whether he wants to stay married. You have my sympathy.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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