In our world of selfies, put others first like Jesus did
*Editor’s note: While Jane Jayroe Gamble is away, The Oklahoman is highlighting a few of her previous columns. This column originally ran March 27, 2021.
As people age, they may shrink in size. Too often, however, our worlds shrink, as well. Sometimes, we retreat into a world of reduced interests, composed only of our problems — easy to do, with our bodies making bigger demands as they age! But this complete self-focus is not the path we are called to take.
Recently, I was reading the book “Double Blessing” by Mark Batterson, and I came upon a section titled “The Gift of Undivided Attention.” It really resonated with me. Batterson says, “The most interesting people on the planet are those who take the greatest interest in others.” He continues, “No one was better at it than Jesus.”
We see this throughout the New Testament stories: Jesus speaking with the woman at the well, Jesus searching in the crowd for the one who touched the hem of His robe, noticing small Zacchaeus in a tree. So many important messages have been unpacked from these stories, but one is especially crystal clear to me — no matter how big the gathering, nor how stacked His schedule, Jesus took a personal and undivided interest in individuals.
To give a person this gift of sincere attention means no multi-tasking, no glancing over their shoulder to see if someone more important is approaching, no looking at a screen during a conversation. This undivided focus says, “You matter.”
When I became Miss America, it was a surprise to everyone. Nobody had even traveled to the pageant with my parents and me ... not even my pageant director. Miss Oklahoma hadn’t won in 41 years, and this year would be no different. I was so frightened about stepping into the role, that, after I was selected, I could hardly function. And there was no guidance. I was 19, and I hadn’t even flown in an airplane, so it was a relief when my first assignment was to be driven to New York City, to a news conference. As it turned out, the event was a packed room of hard-core reporters who were going to bombard me with questions.
My sponsor for the event was Lola Costigan, then vice president for Banlon Corp. A New Yorker, she was sophisticated and savvy — and also heaven sent. Lola fluttered around me as though I were royalty, telling me how lovely I was and what a wonderful job I was going to do. I was so nervous, I couldn’t even reply. Just as I was get
ting ready to walk out among the blinding lights and critical reporters, Lola took her diamond bracelet off and put it on my wrist. Gently, she put her hands on either side of my face and said, “My darling, go out there and let them see Miss America.”
I’m sure I was inarticulate, but Lola took an undivided interest in me. She made me feel tall enough to hold that crown upon my head. It was the gift that kept on giving, that year.
Batterson shares the following story to prove his point: Winston Churchill’s mother, Jennie Jerome, once dined with two of England’s prime ministers on back-to-back evenings. When asked her impression of each, she said of William Gladstone, “When I left the dining room after sitting next to Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England.”
After dining with Benjamin Disraeli? “I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman in England.”
In our world of selfies and polling and winning at all costs, Jesus shows us a different way. It’s about first being last, hanging out with all types of people, teaching love at every opportunity — and showing undivided attention to a sister or brother who needs it.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11