The Oklahoman

Husband keeps whole world updated on spouse’s health

- | ABIGAIL VAN BUREN Contact Dear Abby at

Dear Abby: My husband and I have been married more than 30 years. In the last five, I have had so many doctor appointmen­ts, medical procedures and surgeries that I have lost count. My husband thinks it is perfectly fine to tell family, friends and strangers about my medical conditions, tests and surgeries.

I asked a friend if she would pray for an upcoming test. She said she would, and would continue to pray until I told her otherwise. I had the test; the results were great. My husband told my friend the results without first asking me if it was OK. I realized it when she said, “Your husband told me the good news.”

Now, Abby, I understand it was good news but, in my opinion, it was MY medical informatio­n and I had planned to tell her the next time I saw her. My husband thinks it’s “no big deal” to tell people about what’s going on with me medically. I disagree! I believe it’s personal and nobody’s business.

I have asked, even begged, my husband not to tell anyone about my medical stuff. I went so far as to go to two appointmen­ts without telling him. He was furious that I didn’t let him come along. I told him why he was left behind, but he still didn’t get it, or maybe, didn’t think my feelings were important. Am I being too sensitive or should he keep his mouth shut? Violated In Arkansas Dear Violated: Your oversharin­g husband should respect your feelings and keep his mouth shut. You shouldn’t have had to beg him not to discuss your medical informatio­n with others. Would he be equally open to your telling folks about the state of his prostate, his Viagra consumptio­n, his colonoscop­y preps? Perhaps he will get the message if you start giving him a dose of his own medicine. It’s worth a try.

Dear Abby: I decided to get my daughter a birthday gift that would help her to relax. She is a nurse. Because she worked so hard through the pandemic, I thought a massage would be a good idea. I enlisted the help of her daughter and boyfriend to help pay for it. I work part-time and couldn’t manage it without their help.

I chose the business after reviewing it online and fronted the money to get a certificate in time for her birthday. More than a month has gone by, and I still haven’t received their share of the money from my granddaugh­ter or her boyfriend. In fact, I’m now being ghosted after texting requests for what’s owed.

I’m not sure what to do. I’m considerin­g dropping it so my daughter doesn’t find out. But I’m angry about getting hurt in this way. Disappoint­ed In Illinois

Dear Disappoint­ed: You may have to chalk this up to a life lesson. You have learned that your granddaugh­ter and her boyfriend can’t be trusted to honor their word. I do not think you should tattle to your daughter about this. The distress it could cause would be counterpro­ductive to the intent of your gift.

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