Question that stumps retiree: ‘What do you do?’
QUESTION: Is there a polite way to answer the question “What do you do?” I am retired and I find myself wanting to tell the asking person about my former job, but that is not the question he asked.
Does volunteer work count when answering the “What do you do” question. How about answering with “I am a mother with three children?”
CALLIE’S ANSWER: I think you can answer that question anyway you like. You can say what you used to do and what you currently do. This question is a “get to know you” question, so answer it how you like.
LILLIE-BETH’S ANSWER: Answer in a way that continues the conversation in the way you’d like to — “I’m retired but I spent my career as a _____.” “I retired from ______ and loved my work then, but now I’m loving _______ (freer days, volunteer work, time for my children/grandchildren/spouse/etc.).” Or you can say you’re still figuring out what life looks like with so much free time — that’s also a relatable answer. You don’t have to lose your identity, and there will be some who are genuinely interested in you as a person beyond what you did for a career. (Note: embrace those people.) There will also be some that are only interested in your “doing/working” part and not your “human being” part because that’s all they know. That’s OK.
HELEN’S ANSWER: If a person asks that question they are usually trying to keep a conversation going and so you can answer with helpful information about what you do:
“I am retired, but used to work for the local newspaper,” “I am a stay-at-home mom with three children and do interesting volunteer work in the community;” “I am a heart doctor at the Oklahoma Heart Hospital.” Tell him enough about you to make him able to give a comment in return. You might not feel like answering the question, but it is good manners to reply with an honest answer.
If you are currently unemployed and looking for a job, you could mention the field of work you are in and that you are currently looking for a position in that area.
GUEST’S ANSWER: Kelly Dyer Fry, retired as editor and publisher of The Oklahoman and currently working for Mental Health Association Oklahoma as marketing director/OKC Development: I’m still trying to figure that one out myself. Retirement is not all sunshine and roses. Leaving a long career can be quite difficult.
Our career can play a significant role in our identity. It’s different for everyone. I think it’s fine to say “I do all kinds of things, how about you?” Never hurts to turn the tables.