The Oneida Daily Dispatch (Oneida, NY)
Grandparent Support Group works wonders
Grandparents get together, learn, and face life’s challenges.
ONEIDA >> When some local grandparents found there was little information available to them about their rights as caregivers for their grandkids, they decided to take matters into their own hands.
They created a Grandparents Support Group through the help of the Community Action Partnership of Madison County in August 2014, and now meet monthly to listen to speakers, share their own experiences both good and bad, and in general just feel a bit better knowing others are going through similar situations to their own.
“Grandparents were asking for more information because there really wasn’t much out there for them,” recalled support group co-facilitator Jill Williams. “We started with just five or six grandmothers at the time, and since then it has grown to include both grandmothers and grandfathers who want to know more about what their own rights are.”
Speakers in the past have been a variety of professionals in related fields, including a police officer, a lawyer, a Child Protective Service representative, a therapist, and this past month, a discussion on sexual abuse.
“I have really learned a lot about a wide variety of subjects,” said group member Tracey Payne. Those speakers also often leave pamphlets and other additional information, making for a valuable reference when other situations arise.
They’ve also enjoyed some cultural outings together, renting a limo to go out on the town to a performance.
“This group really runs on what they want to do,” noted co-facilitator Mary Marshall. “If anyone has an idea of what they want to hear about, or what kind of activity they want, then we are willing to try it. This is very much grandparent-driven.”
Williams explained there are more and more multi-generational families in the area, and grandparents are having a considerable influence in the lives of their grandchildren. Some might watch them part-time to help out a working parent, while others might have full, 24-hour custody due to family situations.
Through family visitations fromthe CAP offices, the grandparents were sharing their own stories of how they felt inadequate support from the system, Williams said. While parents have clearly-defined rights under the law, there is often little if any information on the rights of the grandparents -- even if those grandparents are the fulltime caregivers. The Grandparents Support Group helps bridge that gap.
“I felt grandparents really had no rights under the law,” said group member Matthew Payne of Oneida. “But once I started coming here, I found a lot of the answers I was looking for, plus others to share experiences with.”
“We have become much more powerful by coming to the support group,” Williams explained. “Our home visitors can be there every week to try to help, but I think we can all learn better from people that have been through the same thing.”
“This is my place to go and verbalize everything I’m going through,” added group member Victoria Durant. “It’s great to know I’m not the only one going through all of this. If it wasn‘ t for these people, a lot of my own issues would be worse.”
Toomany grandparents think they are all alone, but they will actually feel renewed strength within the compassionate circle of friends in the support group, Williams promised. The group is open to any Madison County-area grandparent who has a significant role in their grandchildren’s lives, and there are no income requirements nor membership in any particular program. And the learning experience is just as valuable to herself and Marshall as it is to their participants, she added.
Participants are always allowed to bring their grandchildren to meetings.
“We don’t want that ever to be a hindrance to them being able to come,” Williams said.
The outreach has been warmly welcomed by the grandparents themselves, who have benefited not only from the in- formation, but from the camaraderie as well.
“I think this is the best group we have,” group member Nancy Burleson said. “It’s great to have somebody to talk to about our lives as grandparents.”
“We have really become a family,” group member Tracy Miller agreed. “Everyone’s problems are shared by the group, and we all look out for each other. All of us have had to deal with some kind of situation, and I think it makes it a little better knowing there are others out there sharing it with us.”
The Grandparents Support Group meets the third Tuesday of every month from 1 to 2:30 p.m. in the CAP office in the Gorman Northside Plaza on Main Street in Oneida. For more information call Williams at (315) 723-0669.