26 year old stepdaughter can’t let go of being a daddy’s girl

DEAR ANNIE >> I am absoDEAR ANNIE >> I’d like to lutely at my wits’ end and respond to “Feeling So seriously thinking of diBad,” the woman who vorcing my husband. was upset that her friend My husband and I have “Nancy” had passed away been marand the friend’s husband, ried for 11 “Bill,” hadn’t filled her in. years. My Her husband, according stepdaughto the writer, limited vister is 26. its to his wife during her She married terminal illness. My wife, three years too, was diagnosed with ago after liva terminal and rare caning with her cer. She, for some reaboyfriend son, felt embarrassment for a year. and shame, which I since The problem is that she have learned is comstill places her dad over pletely normal. My wife her husband. Her poor didn’t want to be talked husband takes it because about, didn’t want to be he is very meek and does seen with a wig or a scarf whatever she wants. around her bald head and She definitely wears the so forth. My orders from pants in the family. She DEAR DESPERATE >> You her were that no one was wants to be married, but can take a vacation, but allowed to visit or drop she still wants to be Dadthese problems will be by at all. I did just as she dy’s little girl. It goes bewaiting for you when you said because meeting her yond that. She still has get back. So before you needs during this awhim so high on a pedesget out the suitcase, try ful time was more importal that it is ridiculous getting in your husband’s tant to me (and to her) for a supposedly grown head. He seems to have a than worrying about our woman. guilt complex that makes neighbors and friends.

She is driving a defihim feel the need to bend Indeed, other than our nite wedge between us, over backward to make trips to and from treatand it is serious. They his daughter happy. His ment, she shut herself in live about two hours fuzzy-headedness on the the house. “Feeling So away. She and her hussubject means that you Bad” need not be upset. I band both have jobs. end up having to be the suspect that “Nancy” told Yet she calls and cries voice of reason — a voice “Bill” that she wanted to risk. Someone will play on your tears that she misses her unwelcome to his daughdeal with her sickness in emotions to get his or her way. dad. They still have date ter and therefore unwelher own way. I’ve learned SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) : nights; he has offered come to him. (He has the that there is no right or You can stabilize your situa

to go places with her if overwhelming need to wrong way to deal with tion at work or home by paying death.—she does not want to go the process of

keep her happy, rememattention to what’s going on around you. It’s in your best alone. If she calls and has ber.) If you keep fighting CANCER (June 21-July 22) : interest to act based on your a problem or something the battle this way, you’re Take time to go over instrucinstincts. that needs to be fixed, destined to lose. tions or clear up any uncerSAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. he drops everything and Instead, you need to tainty you have regarding

21) : Fix up your surroundruns to her. In my opinget him on your side of what’s expected of you. Finish what you start and avoid critiing environment to suit your ion, she chose to get marthe issue, whether by gocism and complaints. needs. Whether at home or ried and have a husband. ing to therapy together

work, clearing a space that is LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) : Take She needs to rely on him or just by putting on

conducive to getting things care of your responsibilities for things and cut the your own therapist cap

done will improve your attitude if you want to be rewarded. apron strings with Daddy and talking it out. Why A contract, settlement or inand productivity.

some and be an adult. I does he feel compelled to vestment will bring unexpectCAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)

am not begrudging visits; help his daughter all the ed gains if you act aggres: Do your part and see what sively. Celebrate with someone transpires. If you can maintain in fact, I encourage them. time? How does he think you love. control, you can excel. Observe But I refuse to change this will impact her and VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) : A matters and make choices our plans simply because her marriage in the long change to your home environbased on your intuitive insight, she decides, spur of the run? With some clarity, ment will help stabilize your not on someone’s persuasive moment, to make an aphe should see that this personal situation. Act out of smooth talk. pearance. He always codependent behavior is principle and with intelligence, AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) takes her side that we unhealthy and does his not with anger or impulsive: A positive change regarding

should let her come and daughter a disservice. ness. Don’t limit your options. an important relationship and LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) : a promise made will bring you change our plans. This She needs to learn how Take a wait-and-see approach greater stability. You must makes me the monster to rely not on her dad or when it comes to situations start to plan for the future. Fiif I dare say no. I think even on her husband but that involve uncertainty and nancial gains are within reach. plans should be made ac- on herself. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23) : Form an alliance with someone who supports your ideas, solutions and efforts. A romantic encounter will tempt you. Don’t make an impulsive decision that could affect your living arrangements or plans. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) : Check out your options, but don’t walk away from one situation until you have a secure hold on where you are heading next. Impulse will lead to uncertainty. Follow your intuition. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23Dec. 21) : Display your skills, expertise and physical ability to get things done. Your excellent work ethic will promote advancement. Be prepared to counterattack a jealous competitor trying to undermine you. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) : You’ll be tempted to follow someone else’s lead. Before you jump in, consider what’s being offered and what’s expected of you in return. If uncertainty prevails, don’t get involved. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) : Take time to pamper yourself or update your appearance. Nurture an important relationship by sharing your plans and feelings. Romance is encouraged. cordingly. We should all four do things together. We could do a dinner out, a day out, etc. My pleas fall on deaf ears.

How do you deal with a 26-year-old who thinks the world revolves around her? I don’t see where she and her husband make any attempt to create their own friendships and have their own life. These are supposed to be the happy years when we can go out and do as we please, but it is far from that. I am about to give up and start taking vacations by myself. DEAR B.R. >> I appreciate hearing the perspective of someone who has such a personal experience with this issue, and it may bring “Feeling So Bad” some peace, too. Thank you for sharing.